Building on Adverse Experiences

The “demotion promotion” stung for sure, but it wasn’t anywhere close to the challenges we dealt with over the four or five years leading up to that. We had nurtured the seeds from each and were on much more stable ground, financially and emotionally. Truth be told, fending off foreclosure, reeling for the jolt of the lowball offer, and navigating the toxic MLM situation provided experience many people would never gain - whether we recognized it as it unfolded or not. 

Individually, those experiences offered wisdom. Cumulatively, though, the impact was incredible. Surviving each, especially back-to-back-to-back, built a level of resilience that Cindy and I have cherished ever since. Our marriage grew stronger, we developed a clear picture for what true friendships really were (and what they were not), and we became more confident about all we brought to the table - personally and professionally. The pay cut definitely spilled into my home life, marriage, and self-image, mainly because it so closely followed each of the other crazy situations we had recently worked through. But this time I was far more prepared!

Make no mistake, the confidence wasn’t me believing I was better than I really was, or better than anyone else for that matter; it was the quiet revelation that I was more than prepared for this scenario where negotiating value was again a reality. In complete transparency, had things not unfolded exactly the way they had I may still be in that same role - and utterly miserable with every aspect of my professional life. This was just the push I needed to begin considering a move away from the company I had worked for my entire adult life.

I realize some of what I’ve shared could easily seem like bitterness. While that may have been what I felt immediately, it’s anything but that today. I’m forever grateful for the changes it spurred me to make and for the seeds of much great opportunities I’ve been able to find from what was actually a very minor adversity in the grand scheme of things. Before I could do that, though, I had to move past taking it personally. Bad professional situations don’t stay professional; owning any potential ripple effects prevents resentment and unlocks cooperative growth in every aspect of our lives.

The weeks and months that followed me telling my boss he should ask for a refund on his MBA were business as usual to the casual observer. My daily grind in the office looked like it had for the two years leading up to that point. But I was modeling the analogy of a duck on water: calmly floating on the surface while paddling like nobody’s business below the water line. We’ll dig into how the most definite decision I had made to that point in my career came during that time of uncertainty next. Right now, though, think of a career shift that affected more than just your professional life, spilling into your whole family situation. What did your contribution look like, good or bad? And what’s one lesson you’ve pulled from it that still serves you today?