Mining Family Trials for Relational Seeds

Two different but equally meaningful experiences drove me to write What’s KILLING Your Profitability? (It ALL Boils Down to Leadership!): all the years that Rod Little expected my work in behavior-based safety to make a positive impact on the facility’s productivity and all the executives I’ve heard since referencing leadership skills or communication skills as intangible. My goal with that book was to provide a business case for just how both impact every organization’s bottom line.

Not only can we measure these “soft” skills through our company’s profit and loss statement (once we have a clear understanding of where and how this shows up), they’re equally important in our personal lives - as I’ve detailed here by sharing some of what Cindy and I have experienced over the years. Intangible traits like empathy and understanding create measurable stability and "profit" in family systems, preventing emotional/financial "killers" like burnout or disconnection. Making these home-based pivots create profound ripples: stronger marriage trust, family unity, and subtle workplace respect (e.g., reliability despite distractions). Leading self and family organically inspires colleagues, proving influence starts where no one is watching. And the skills we develop through this process most certainly carries over into every other scenario we’re in.

As our selfless service allows us to begin turning chaos into strength, our leadership foundation grows. That said, none of this happens automatically. To keep it top of mind, consider Napoleon Hill’s statement once more: "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." We have no hope of realizing the equal or greater benefit, though, without actively mining for even our family trials for relational (and leadership) seeds. Here are five questions that will help you in that mining process:

• What family trial (health, school, relational) still carries weight for you?
• What blind spot or habit did it reveal, and what seed of greater benefit (e.g., empathy) was hidden?
• How could a decisive pivot strengthen your sympathy, cooperation, or responsibility?
• In what ways might nurturing this seed improve your influence without title—at home or work?
• What three small, immediate actions can you take this week to plant and nurture it? Main Idea: Targeted reflection turns family bad situations into leadership gold—start building relational strength now. Share one action with an accountability partner (spouse, friend) for commitment.

While answering these may not solve every problem you’ll ever face, it will help solidify the foundation you’re laying. That foundation is critical when (not if) you face more significant challenges, and I’ll share some of our next.