Adapting the Framework

The foundation we establish in every professional relationship supports the structure it’s based on. But without an allowance for adapting the framework as needed, that foundation won’t hold. In fact, construction standards in earthquake prone areas detail this specifically. An article called “Strengthening structures: tips for an earthquake-proof house” shared this:

Earthquake-resistant buildings all have one thing in common—a strong concrete foundation. The foundation of a building is what everything else rests on and should be able to withstand earthquakes… The foundation of a building is supposed to be durable enough to withstand outside forces. However, changes in the soil beneath the foundation or the weight above the foundation can create shifts in the foundation itself. When the foundation cannot handle those shifts, such as ones caused by intense seismic forces, the foundation can start to break. Breaks in the foundation compromise the integrity of the entire home.

The humility we invest into that framework provides an opportunity for measuring relational success but, like the article describes for the foundation of a home, we’ll have to allow for shifts. To draw ongoing strength from each professional relationship we work so hard to develop, and truly leverage leadership growth, we cannot afford to allow those shifts to compromise the integrity. Our framework must be adaptable.

During the few seasons I played Little League Baseball - before I realized I was good at everything except the running, hitting, and catching parts - one of the coolest parts of being on the team was getting the hat. In those days, we played in jeans or gray sweatpants; we didn’t have fancy uniforms like the pro’s. Those hats were “one-size-fits-all.” Just like you rarely see anything other than a fitted hat in baseball today, that’s not an effective approach for building relationships. (It would be fine for a kid’s baseball cap, though, and far less expensive for the parent.) Developing any long-lasting relationship, personal or professional, requires allowing for shifts.

As we’ve worked through each step of this process, building on the idea that there’s no such thing as a self-made leader, I’ve referenced the DISC Model of Human Behavior more than a dozen times. That hasn’t been accidental; the science it’s based on provides the most practical and applicable tools for enhancing communication, and thereby building stronger relationships, that I’ve found in over 25 years of studying human behavior. All too often, I’ve seen people in roles with leadership responsibility (again, I’m intentionally not referring to them as leaders) who are set in their ways and expect each person they interact with to adapt. That won’t earn the influence that yields discretionary effort from our teams, it won’t serve as a lasting foundation for any relationship, and it won’t be how we leverage leadership strength. Understanding my own behavioral and communication style, when things are going smoothly and when I’m under stress, served as a starting point. Learning to quickly recognize the primary style of each person I interact with allowed me to tailor my message so they could best receive it. Adapting to their needs - increasing my emotional intelligence, if you will - has been more helpful in building great professional relationships than any other thing I can point to.

Having structure is an excellent place to start but adaptability keeps the framework relevant. When we can do this, and when we can help each person on our teams learn to do it as well, we’re on the path to crafting a lasting relational legacy. Before we look at that, though, take some time to consider how you can adjust your framework based on the feedback you receive - and the behaviors you see.