Navigating Resistance with Patience

I reported to Kevin for longer than any other supervisor I’ve ever had (not counting Cindy). Praise God he was so patient! I was just shy of 25 years old when I accepted the role working directly with (as I mentioned before, he was very intentional about never making me feel like I worked for him). In addition to that strong work ethic I’ve mentioned several times already, I had started to develop a unique skill set that usually served me well. However, one weakness I had then was a glaring lack of patience. As impactful as he was in celebrating my wins and supporting my overall growth, his patience with me when I so often insisted on getting results through sheer force has been a lesson that serves me to this day.

I can remember hundreds of times where he or I would talk with a supervisor or manager about a safety issue that needed their attention, only to circle back afterward and find that nothing had been done. Nearly every time, I’d be ready to take them behind the proverbial woodshed and he would calmly talk me down to keep me from acting on a stupid impulse. Kevin never accepted excuses for the lack of follow up on those issues, he was just more tactful in how he approached it - and his method got results. He showed me something Cindy still reminds me of daily: everything doesn’t need to be a fight.

One of the most powerful lessons Terry taught me through our work together in behavior-based safety was also built around patience. In What’s KILLING Your Profitability? I shared how the results we achieved in our process locally grew exponentially when Terry challenged us to control what we could control rather than trying to change the world then getting bent out of shape when everything didn’t go the way we hoped. Just like Kevin, he was just as patient with ranting and raving about things I thought should have been done sooner. While the issues that flustered me were important, they weren’t the only things demanding time and attention from the supervisors I was often so riled up with. 

I often explain how my dad has told me for more than four decades that I’ll get more patient as I get older, then pointing out that only one of those two things has happened. With the self-awareness I’ve developed (through an inexpensive but scientifically validated DISC behavioral style assessment), I understand just how fast-paced and task-focused I really am - and how much energy I’ll need to put into focusing on anything else when I’m under stress. In one of the lessons in our Emerging Leader Development course, Cindy explains that patience isn’t something we do or don’t have, it’s a behavior we practice. Both Kevin and Terry provide me with an amazing example of how patiently navigating my hard-headed resistance to practicing any kind of patience personally could have a much more positive impact over time. 

I can’t count the number of times I heard Terry emphasize that the real power behind the behavior-based safety methodology was gentle pressure relentlessly applied; navigating resistance with patience - consistently… How he and Kevin relentlessly applied that gentle pressure with me served as mentorship for overcoming some huge barriers, in my professional growth as well as in the work we did together, and that has truly enhanced my effectiveness as a leader. It also provided me with a picture of what it looks like to foster a mentorship culture. Before we dig into that, I’ll challenge you to find an opportunity where you can practice patience by offering supportive action to a colleague who’s navigating resistance of some sort in their role.