Embracing Your Distinct Voice

Before we dive headfirst into the importance of (and steps for) taking ownership of the irreplaceable value we can each add to the people we serve, I want you to take time to consider a specific strength you have but are likely overlooking. Since so many of us struggle with this, you may want to seek feedback from a mentor or colleague - then accept what they’ve shared!

Now, let’s dive in! Starting in late 1999, immediately after first experiencing  the fear of sharing a message with a group of peers without seeing them through beer googles, I looked for every opportunity I could find to observe other people speaking in anything resembling a public setting. I paid attention to their message, but I was far more focused on how they delivered it; their mannerisms, their tone, and even how they wove in any tidbits their audience could connect with. I sat in on the 90 minute session where Terry covered the “ABCs of Behavioral Analysis” almost every week for close to two years. In early 2001, I heard John Maxwell speak (on cassette tape) for the first time and took every opportunity I could find over the next decade to study his work, in any format I was able to get my hands on. While those were the most frequent examples I had to study, there were dozens - possibly hundreds - of others who watched and analyzed. As I worked to become more confident presenting in front of groups, I did all I could to mimic things I had seen Terry and John do that appeared to be received well with their audiences. The reality, though, was that I’d never be more than a second rate Terry Ward or John Maxwell, and even that was a long shot. To have the most impact possible, I had to identify and embrace the unique voice that only I could offer.

Some of the best feedback Cindy and I receive today comes from how the groups we interact with relate to our message, largely because we’ve been where they are and understand so much of what they deal with day to day. That said, I’m keenly aware that my extremely DIRECT approach puts some folks on edge. While my overall intent is never to shine a negative spotlight on even the ones who deserve it most, there are plenty of times that even an anonymous example steps on toes. Revelations 3:16 says, “So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot or cold, I am going to vomit you out of my mouth.” (BibleGateway.com lists the various translations and details lukewarm as “spiritually useless”.) Without getting too spiritual, I will make a case for how important it is for each of us to embrace our most closely held beliefs, avoiding the urge to toe a line that would hopefully please everyone; that just won’t happen.

Throughout What’s KILLING Your Profitability?, Leading With A Clear Purpose, and The Values Advantage, I stressed how the best people I’ve ever been around were not pushed away by high expectation; they were drawn to them - especially when everyone on the team is held accountable and those expectations tied to clearly defined values that supported the organization’s purpose. I can say with absolute certainty that not everyone in the room in August 2015 when John Maxwell said that he expected us to exceed our clients’ expectations any time we used his material, and some were likely put off by him saying so. I heard dozens of people complain about Terry’s straightforward, but always respectful, approach to addressing issues over the years, but I’ve seen just as many get tremendous value from his contributions.

It’s taken me more than two decades to fully embrace my unique voice and recognize the irreplaceable value it can add, be that in conversations with our closest associates or in large group settings. However, I’m also very aware that my direct approach can push some away. Through a lot of life experience and some powerful feedback from trusted mentors, I’ve learned that being either hot or cold will inevitably ruffle a few feathers. But being lukewarm secularly is effectively riding the fence of perpetual mediocrity. More than a decade ago, a team member told me how nice they thought a manager we both worked with was. That same team member had frequently expressed frustration about that manager for not providing answers to their concerns. The manager usually acknowledged the concerns, they just wouldn’t pick a side. In doing so, everyone involved felt slighted. 

Far too often, and certainly in my case over the years, we shy away from fully embracing our distinct voice out of concern that we’ll step on toes. That can certainly happen, but don’t underestimate how much your distinct contributions add irreplaceable value to the professional bonds you’re building. There are people who need to hear a message from your perspective. I’m sure other people told me some of the same things I’ve learned from Terry Ward, but his message sunk in. I’m just as sure that very little I share is new or unique, but there are times where I can deliver it in a way that connects with someone in a way that others didn’t. 

Embracing your distinct voice will require you to break free from self-doubt. And trust me, that’s hard. But it’s also doable and we’ll work through how it can be done next. Until then, think about how you can begin using a unique skill you bring to the table in some sort of team project that asserts your worth; not out of arrogance or to establish control. Remember the strength of humility in the process.