Responding to Feedback

Practicing the art of responsiveness requires discipline, especially for a leader working to juggle all that demands their time and attention. Messages can and do come at us from every direction and some of the most critical, the ones that determine how the individual who sent it will feel valued at a time where they absolutely need it most, often land in our lap when we just don’t have the time to dedicate to the response they genuinely need. We’ll look at a few things we can implement soon that will serve as relational investments that earn us a bit of grace when we simply can’t respond immediately. After that, we’ll work through a few habits (and systems) we can create that allow us to sustain a high level of responsiveness. For now, remember that even an email response that takes longer than 48 hours can send a message that the person reaching out isn’t important; we don’t have nearly as long with texts or voicemails.

When we do respond, assuming we’ve practiced listening as the foundation, it can’t be canned. If we’re more focused on determining when it’s our turn to talk than what’s been shared with us, there’s little chance our reply will serve anyone involved. Even then, there will be times where we’ll need to use extreme caution in how we respond. We’ve all had outreach that stings. Sometimes that’s from someone with an axe to grind, other times the person reaching out may have an expectation that’s not aligned with what we’re able to provide, but there will also be times where it’s feedback we’ll need to absorb so we can improve.

In looking at harnessing the power of candid conversations, I shared how we moved away from general satisfaction surveys after hosting only a few large public events and have since invested a tremendous amount of time into soliciting direct, one-on-one feedback from trusted sources. Regardless of how much we trust the person offering the feedback, there’s often still a tendency to justify why we did things a certain way rather than truly analyzing the input and identifying how we can use it to improve. In most cases, we did the best we knew how and even the slightest suggestion can feel like constructive criticism. That was the case when Terry would pull me aside after a group presentation 25 years ago and that same feeling hits me occasionally still today. When we trust the person delivering the feedback, though, and maybe even when we don’t, fighting the urge to push back or brush it off can be a game-changer. Accepting the input with grace not only shows the other person we respect their opinion, it builds the influence we have with them and gives us a chance to improve.

Had I not learned to accept Terry’s input and continued to explain why I thought my way was right, he likely would have found another place to invest his time. The same goes for each person we’ve asked for feedback in the more than two decades since. Adapting to the different types of feedback we receive builds on the relationship we have with the person offering it. A quick response that’s appropriate to the situation enhances our leadership agility. In some cases, though, how we adapt to a team member’s needs will be the most important part of our response so we’ll work through that next. Until then, I’ll challenge you to identify a specific piece of feedback you’ve received recently that you can act on right away. As you do, circle back with the person who shared that feedback and let them know how it helped.