The Art of Responsiveness

Near the beginning of chapter six of When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, titled “Time Hacker’s Handbook,” Daniel Pink challenges readers to “Reply quickly email” and shares this:

“Email response time is the single best predictor of whether employees are satisfied with their boss, according to research by Duncan Watts, a Columbia University sociologist who is now a principal researcher for Microsoft Research. The longer it takes for a boss to respond to their emails, the less satisfied people are with their leader.”

Make no mistake, this is in no way exclusive to email, job satisfaction, or the workplace. The ART of responsiveness is crucial in every relationship: personal and professional, mentor or mentee, and everywhere else another person is involved. The way we choose to respond - when and how - sends a distinct message about the value we place on that individual. Oh, and opting not to reply (email, phone, text, whatever) is a definite chosen response, too.

I first heard Dan Pink share this idea during a keynote session he did in late 2017, prompting me to read his book several times afterward. Cindy and I even developed several lessons in our Leading At The Next Level program around what we learned from it. As I picked it up again just now to find that specific quote, I found an interesting business card marking the page. Soon after sharing those lessons, Cindy and I did some work with an organization and were asked to create a very in-depth proposal for helping the leadership team initiate a complete overhaul of the company’s leadership culture - all the way down to how frontline team members provided servant leadership to each client they interacted with daily. We invested a significant amount of time into developing a tailored, comprehensive proposal. We sent it to the executive who requested it, copied the head human resources person (who was also involved in the request), and waited. And waited. And waited.

Okay, Wes, did the business card belong to one of them? Nope. The card was from a completely different organization, the organization the team member who connected us with that executive went to after dealing with that same level of unresponsiveness for years. Our friend had started with the organization soon after graduating high school, worked there through college, and had excelled in every role they held. But after several changes at the executive level, including the person our friend reported to, email response wasn’t the only thing that was lacking. Our friend had grown very frustrated by not being able to get responses of any kind. The lack of response that Cindy and I experienced on the detailed proposal we crafted - based on their specific request - was only a snapshot of a very systematic cultural issue within that organization. Our friend dealt with it routinely, and we’ve heard numerous reports where clients have dealt with it as well.

The folks who have known us personally for a while are likely scratching their heads, trying to figure out what company and which friend I’m referring to. Save yourself some time, I could have shared similar examples for no less than a dozen organizations and even more individuals - many of which I care deeply for. My goal here isn’t to throw someone under the bus, even if they’ve earned it, but to emphasize just how much the art of responsiveness impacts every relationship. When it comes to leveraging leadership growth and building strength through the great relationships we absolutely need to develop, our energy is wasted when we choose not to respond in a timely manner. And based on studies I’ve read similar to the one Dan Pink mentioned, choosing to ignore even an email for more than 48 hours results in a significant drop in how much the other person feels valued; the time frame for phone calls and texts is far less.

If we’re only working to strengthen our knowledge network, with just the sole purpose of overcoming our personal leadership gaps, being even slow to respond makes a resounding statement about the value we place on the expert we’re asking questions of. If we’re working to earn influence rather than leading with authority alone, being unresponsive can stop us in our tracks. And let’s be honest, do we ever tie the idea of humility to the person who can’t be bothered to respond to us but is quick to reach out when they need something?

Moving forward, we’ll work through specific steps for mastering the art of responsiveness - starting with a foundation of listening. First, though, I’ll challenge you to audit your response times. Are you sending the message you mean to send - regardless of the actual words used in your message? We live in a world where everyone is busy, especially those who have accepted leadership responsibility. But being too busy to respond may be sending a reply that says your time is more important than the other person’s time - and that will never leverage leadership growth.