When Opportunity Turns Toxic

Just so it’s fresh in our minds, let’s revisit how Hill defined his third leadership attribute, a keen sense of justice. He shared that “Without a sense of fairness and justice, no leader can command and retain the respect of followers.” I’ve emphasized this in each of my books and with every group, large or small, that Cindy and I speak with; leadership comes from the influence we earn by actively serving those counting on us. It has nothing to do with title, position, or authority - regardless of how many people consider themselves as leaders solely because those reporting to them are required to follow their commands.

Prior to my transition from behavior-based safety to human resources, the multi-level marketing business we had been engaged in on the side had hit a peak before sputtering. Like any organization, that sputtering was largely due to people issues. In that case, though, everyone was supposedly “independent business owners” so -  at least in theory - you called your own shots. That was most certainly never the case, but it was indeed touted as such. In Leading With A Clear Purpose, I made a strong case for just how much we all want to be part of something that matters; if pay were the only driver, there’d be no such thing as a volunteer organization. But even then, that purpose needs to be abundantly clear at all times AND the values of the organization (or group) need to be prominent at all times.

Before I move on, please know that I’m not attacking the idea of multi-level marketing here. We learned a lot through our involvement over the years. I am, however, about to drive home a point that when values are more show than go, and purpose is used more for manipulation than empowerment, bad situations are inevitable.

Not long after I transitioned into the HR role, and well before I developed a solid understanding of workplace law, a few ladies in our “downline” pulled Cindy aside individually to express what ended up being the same concern. Both were relatively reserved and far enough removed from our routine activity that we weren’t around them all that much. Almost as if it had been scripted, they both shared details of a male between us and them telling each of them (and other single ladies) that he’d only work with them if they slept with him.

Human resources and appropriate workplace behavior aside, I still believe in a high degree of chivalry. I refuse to let Cindy carry heavy things and I hold the door for her every chance I get; not because she isn’t capable, but because I believe that’s one way of being the protector God intended me to be. With that as context, I doubt you’ll be surprised to know how mad I got when Cindy shared this issue with me. Rather than following my initial and very primal urge to absolutely pummel that character-less piece of shit, I opted to follow the organizational hierarchy by taking the issue to my direct upline. In complete transparency, he and I always had an on-again/off-again relationship; on-again when he needed something from me and off-again when he didn’t. The on-again ended completely when I brought the issue to his attention.

At that point, I was aware of two issues it created for him. He’d actually have to assume responsibility for handling a tough situation and he’d have to do it with someone who sucked up to him in every possible way. It was far easier for him to blow me off since I had not proven to be one of his yes-men. And unfortunately both ladies who took the issue to Cindy were terrified of any possible attention it would have placed on them and were unwilling to share the details with anyone else.

Bad situations can hide inside any type of opportunity. Moral dilemmas test whether purpose is just talk or something worth financial (and personal) cost, and I’ll share a little bit of what choosing morals cost us - at least related to that situation - shortly. Right now, I’ll challenge you to think about one “opportunity” in your life that began to feel misaligned. Detail the hidden costs you may not have noticed before. Our stance in that situation was costly at the moment, not sticking to our values would have carried a far higher price tag.