The Myth of the Self-Made Leader and the Power of Humility

We started down this path with an emphasis on the reality that there is no such thing as a self-made leader. For someone like me with a highly DRIVEN behavioral style, it would be nearly impossible to get much value from anything resembling a candid conversation with someone who believes they’ve become an amazing leader through their own sheer brilliance. To that end, the remaining ninety percent of the population won’t likely do well with that person’s constructive criticism either - even if they don’t call out that person’s inflated ego in the moment. Through more than three decades in the workforce, the highest returns I’ve received from any relationships have been those with mentors like I’ve referenced to this point. The one thing all of those mentors and so many other leaders I’ve had the chance to study closely have in common has been a deep sense of humility that’s allowed them to earn high levels of influence with the people around them, regardless of chain of command, and thereby intentionally develop anyone willing to pay attention.

Being a mentor isn’t about power or authority, it’s about genuinely sowing into someone’s life - providing the alliance feedback we’ve looked at several times already - so they can be their absolute best. Had Terry, Kevin, Rod, or Chris been prone to pounding their chests and telling me how great they were, I can assure you I wouldn’t be mentioning their names. Not only am I far too willing to call bullshit when someone is that full of themselves, I’ve never seen anyone receive much of real value from the folks who are constantly exclaiming how great their own accomplishments are. The most influential mentors and leaders I’ve had the privilege of learning from have all been extremely successful but they’ve also displayed exemplary humility.

During the same time I gained so much from each of the mentors listed above, I also had close interaction with no less than half a dozen folks who were exceptionally talented in their respective roles and had worked their ways into positions with high levels of authority. They were each in roles that garnered constant attention, within their own organizations and in the communities surrounding them. They were important and they didn’t shy away from making sure anyone even close to being in their reporting chain knew just how important they were. Each of them, in one way or another, was confident that they had hung the moon; humility was not a word I could have ever used in describing any of them. If any one of them ever attributed the slightest bit of their success to someone else, it wasn’t when I was nearby.

I won’t speak for you, but I struggle with taking someone who’s that proud of themselves seriously. Make no mistake though, I have no issue whatsoever with a leader who’s confident. Arrogance and confidence are very different things. The most confident leaders I’ve been around also display humility in how they look for ways to serve and develop the people around them. Humility dismantles the myth of self-reliance, enabling leaders to lean on relationships for growth. The humility I saw in each of my mentors was exactly why I knew I could trust them - and we’ll pick up there next time.