Influence Earned in Silence

Because we chose to take a moral stand and just were not willing to compromise our values, our financial opportunities tied to that multi-level marketing venture never really recovered. But digging in on what I knew was right provided more value than we would have ever gotten there; the seeds that value grew from just took a while to germinate and grow.

Had I opted to turn a blind eye to the issue when Cindy brought it to my attention, or to brush it off when anyone we made aware of it shunned us, I would have effectively sacrificed any respect I would have hoped to maintain from Cindy, our kids, and everyone else who was aware of the issue - regardless of how closely connected any of the others were to the fallout. Cindy and our kids were directly in the mix. A few folks had close proximity, knowing about some of it even before Cindy and I did. Many others, though, had no idea of the specifics but they knew us well enough to be completely certain that how we were being treated wasn’t something we deserved.

I’ve emphasized this a few times already, but I’ll do it again here for clarity: I share none of this as a sob story or with any hope of garnering your sympathy. This was indeed one of the most significant adversities I had experienced to that point in my life but I’d bet you’ve had your share of similar or worse adversities. My hope is that this helps you pull any possible seed to equal or greater benefit from those and to do everything in your power to make that seed grow!

Taking that stance, regardless of how much turmoil it created, helped us continue building on the credibility we had been working so hard to earn in the business community - from peers in close proximity as well as with other leaders we hadn’t even met yet, some of which was just based on the confidence we developed through taking a hard stand on the values we refuse to compromise. Pivoting through bad professional situations, leaning on the keen sense of justice and willingness to accept complete responsibility that Hill described builds authentic relational power. Quiet consistency in the face of ostracism earns trust no title can grant.

As tough as that was at the time, we’ve seen many of the folks who severed ties with us back then eventually go through similar adversities with the ones we took a stand against all those years ago. While I’ve never wished bad on them, I also didn’t have sympathy for them. How we do one thing is nearly always how we do everything. They had front row seats to what they could eventually expect for themselves; it was a matter of IF it could happen to them, it was just a matter of WHEN they would be on the receiving end.

No matter the immediate financial cost, opting to negotiate the importance of our own core values would have led to significant setbacks in our long term strategic growth. We’ll work through that idea in more detail next. Before that, think about a specific adversity you’ve dealt with where your values were in question. Looking back, what could you have done differently? How will any seed you found in that adversity help you build quiet strength and earn even more influence moving forward?