Balancing Confidence with Influence

In wrapping our look at the strength of humility, I stress the need for a confidence-humility balance in order to earn trust and buy-in that rarely comes through the sheer force of authority. With that being tied predominantly to the importance of developing and maintaining humility when our title tells everyone around that we’re in charge - at least when they’re in our line of sight - I was very intentional about challenging you to consider who you were most receptive to receiving direction or guidance from; an arrogant boss or a humble peer. The reality, at least for me, is that humility gains buy-in where arrogance slams the doors. The individual’s title has little to do with it. Arrogance input is automatically received as constructive criticism where even the most candid conversation delivered through a spirit of humility quickly takes the shape of alliance feedback.

With each role I held during all my years in manufacturing, it was critical for me to balance humility with confidence. I, personally, didn’t possess the authority to demand compliance so humbly requesting support was a very necessary step. That said, I couldn’t rightfully expect that support without having the utmost confidence in the process I was charged with implementing. Through all that, though, I did have some management support backing me - be that from a few managers locally or from the corporate office. Let’s be honest, it’s easier to be confident when you know someone (even if they’re a thousand miles away) is standing behind you.

With that in mind, let’s fast forward to the present day. When Cindy and I work with a group, whether that’s 15-20 supervisors and managers on-site for a specific organization or we’re speaking to hundreds of leaders from across the country within a specific industry, the only authority we can ever hope to earn will come from earning authentic influence. Those folks may, and I stress MAY, receive direction from someone in their organizations detailing how they take action on something we’ve shared, but we never rely on that. Our responsibility is to display complete confidence in the message we share while modeling a level of humility that allows each participant to connect with us on a personal level. When they can feel both through everything we say and do during our time with them, they understand that we’ve walked in their shoes and recognize the issues they face. And we never stop (or even start) there; from the time we arrive, we’re intentional about having as much one-on-one interaction as we possibly can. We talk with as many individuals as time allows for and we learn as much as we can about them - personally and professionally. Doing that allows us to tailor our delivery to their specific situations and needs. We’re extremely confident that when applied, the material we share gets results - because we’ve lived it personally. Balancing that confidence with the humility to meet each audience member where they are helps our message influence how they receive it and the action they take afterward.

I realize that your interaction with the team members you lead is significantly different from what Cindy and I do. It doesn’t matter. Any time we pair confidence with humility, especially when we show each person we interact with that we genuinely understand and care for them, it boosts the influence we have in their life. And regardless of the power we can wield through our title or position, that influence earns trust and long term results we’d never achieve by expecting that our team members comply with our overconfident demands. (Remember how that turned out in my story from late 2012?) Before I tie this look at influence over authority together with a larger call to action, I’d like you to think about how you can immediately practice a confident yet humble approach in a conversation to strengthen your influence.