Adversity Turns Systems into Values-Alignment

If you’ve spent much time with me at all, and you have even a basic understanding of the DISC Model of Human Behavior, you likely already know just how Driven I am; extremely face-paced and very task-focused. That said, getting results and winning are what fuel me. I would have enjoyed few things more than escorting a few of the folks from the institution we thought we were going to partner with on that 2017 event behind the proverbial woodshed - at least figuratively. And while that may have been something I could have physically controlled, it was not something that would have helped us move toward the clear purpose we were honing at the time and it certainly wouldn’t have done much to earn the influence we were working so hard to establish with the clients we were beginning to serve. A picture of me in a striped suit on the front page of all the local papers wasn’t the visibility we needed then - and still isn’t. Spending any time at all in that striped suit would have very likely prevented me from identifying the real seeds we’d need to nurture in order to eventually take possession of great benefits down the road.

Over the years, Cindy and I have seen - time and again - that our best results show up with the clients we have strong relationships with. That may be a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing; I won’t make a case whether the relationship is built on the results or the results come from having the relationship. What I can say without question is that the two nearly always go hand-in-hand. The inverse has been just as true. Friction reveals misalignment. All too often, especially in the early stages of starting a business or when there’s a pressing need to make the cash register ring, we brush that friction aside to make something work. That’s exactly the pressure we felt as we read through the contract and were forced to make the decision on how we’d respond to the non-compete clause buried in the small print.

Cindy had developed more and more courage through each of the personal and professional adversities we had faced leading up to that point. That said, this was indeed the first real adversity we encountered since launching Dove Development & Consulting. Without each of those along the way, I don’t believe we would have had the courage to stand on our values the way we did - and certainly not against an established institution. Make no mistake, though, courageous stands plant seeds. And consistent responsibility nurtures them. As much as I wanted results and to win in that scenario (and really any scenario I’m ever in), assuming full responsibility in that situation wasn’t about simply winning. Making the best of institutional battles isn’t about victory over systems—it’s intentional preparation that transforms conflict into chains of values-driven readiness. In our case then, our values were just inside us. But pushing through the way we did allowed us to further clarify what we valued most as well as what we’d need to look for to ensure value-alignment in business relationships moving forward.

We’ll tie this look at how we’ll all, sooner or later, have to take a stand against some sort of institutional system next. Once again, though, I want to share something from the bottom of my heart: detailing this story and each one leading up to now isn’t some sort of woe-is-me thing. If it were up to me, I’d put each of them in a box and throw them in the ocean. (That’s a reference to Bad Boys II just in case you’re not tracking…) As I wrote Leveraging Leadership Growth, I realized - more than ever - just how blessed Cindy and I have been by the mentors in our lives and the experiences we’ve had, even the tough ones. And those tough ones have opened doors to opportunities we could have never dreamed of - but we had to find the seeds hidden within them. My hope in hashing each of these out is that you find the seeds that may still be hidden in the adversities you’ve faced along the way. Before we work through the closing questions geared at helping you mine any institutional battle you’ve encountered for your justice seeds, think back through each thing I’ve challenged you to reflect on to this point. Be sure to outline how one stand could amplify your current leadership impact.