The Role of Trust in Candid Conversations

An article from Harvard Business Impact called “Good Leadership? It all starts with trust.” opens by saying, “Trust is one of the most vital forms of capital a leader has today.” The author then defines trust as “a belief in the abilities, integrity, and character of another person.” A Forbes article called “Measuring Trust Using the Leadership Trust Index” places equal importance on trust from the start by sharing, “Trust is becoming more and more central to cultural challenges in organizations." That author goes on to cite research they did showing that “89% of board leaders consider trust critical to attracting and retaining top talent, while 91% consider it vital in maintaining customer loyalty.”

If you’ve ever worked in an organization where you had lost trust in the person you reported to, I’d bet your time in that role was limited afterward. I’d also guess that the “57% increase in discretionary effort” I frequently reference that was detailed in a separate Harvard Business Review article called “The Things They Do for Love” wasn’t part of the equation. It certainly wouldn’t have been for me, even while doing anything necessary to fulfill my required duties, and I’ve rarely seen anyone else go above and beyond when they lacked trust in the person they were reporting to. If you’re familiar with the science behind the DISC Model of Human Behavior, you know this is even more true for the 35% percent of us who focus more on the task at hand than the people who are involved in that task with us.

To fully benefit from the power of feedback, trust is just as crucial. There’s no shortage of people who are willing to provide feedback. If you’re not sure that’s the case, scroll through social media until you find a racy post, which shouldn’t take long, then grab some popcorn for the entertainment that comes from reading through the pissing contests that take place in the comment thread. With no relationship, and definitely no trust in place, an exchange like that may be candid but I can’t imagine it will help shape many decisions.

The sole reason I sought out feedback from mentors like Terry, Rod, and many others was that they had earned my trust - over and over again. Because they had proven that they had my best interests in mind, even when I didn’t necessarily like the feedback they were giving me, those candid conversations did help to shape my decisions. While there may be times where folks are stuck, even temporarily, reporting to someone they don’t trust, and limited options in the marketplace could force us to do business with a supplier we don’t trust (like USPS, DMV, or any other gubermint entity that holds all the cards), I can’t say that I’ve ever sought out feedback from someone I didn’t trust. 

While we should always attempt to pull something of value from any feedback we receive, even that “constructive criticism” from the person who we know doesn’t have our best interests at heart, some of the most useful lessons come when we have complete trust in the source. Before we dig into how to turn feedback into actionable growth, I’ll challenge you to create a list of mentors you know you can trust unequivocally to provide you with feedback that will fuel your growth. That list doesn’t need to be long, but we should all be working to develop it constantly…