Seeing People’s Worth

In a Facebook post dated August 1, 2025, Mark Divine, author of Staring Down the Wolf, shared the following:

Leadership is not a title.

It’s a burden of responsibility.

When you step into leadership, you’re saying:

• “I will go first.”
• “I will own the results—good or bad.”
• “I will make the hard calls, even when no one is watching.”

Most people want the recognition.

Few want the weight.

Real leadership means every success and every failure touches you first.

It means putting your team, your mission, and your values ahead of your ego.

If you want the role, take the responsibility.

If you want the respect, carry the weight without excuses.

Angela Fletcher, SPHR, opens an article called “The Privilege of Leadership: A Different Perspective” with the quote, “Leading others is a privilege with great responsibility.”

Both commentaries carry tremendous weight. The responsibility for leading a team, be that based solely on the title we hold or the influence we’ve earned, is a privilege that can indeed become a burden at times. I’ve never seen anyone who was completely focused on their own best interests lead a team well over the long haul. Without seeing people’s worth, leadership is far more of a burden than privilege. But recognizing worth builds a foundation for leadership impact.

As we looked at the ripple effect of relational leadership, I shared how Terry has frequently downplayed the investment he’s made in me over the years, saying that he had attempted to do the same thing for hundreds of others. As appreciative as I am that he didn’t throw in the towel before getting to me, that speaks to the value he saw (and continues to see) in the people around him; even the ones like me who were simply in the periphery. In the nearly thirty years I’ve known him, I can’t point to a single time where I’ve seen him have gaps in the schedule. But he’s always shown value to the people around him by being available, even if that meant blocking time on his calendar days or even weeks later.

We’ll circle back to how his example of availability earned a level of trust with me that few others ever have - especially since I didn’t really like him through our first few interactions. For now, I’ll share how working to share with others what he had provided for me has become far more of a privilege than a burden.

Cindy and I open the fifth lesson of our Emerging Leader Development course by asking participants to list three people who have mentored them to that point in their careers. We follow that by challenging them to send handwritten thank you cards to each, but that’s a story for another time. Once we have that foundation laid, we compare the feelings we automatically have when considering someone with unused potential versus the ones who exceed what anyone saw as their potential. I go on to share about someone I met when he was just seventeen years old. While he was a good kid, he could have easily been swallowed by his surroundings and ended up being a statistic. But he didn’t! Twenty years later, I get watery-eyed every time I talk about (or even think about) the difference he’s made in his community.

In one of our public sessions a few years ago, a young man pulled me aside at the short break immediately after that lesson and asked if the person I had referred to was his cousin, and mentioned my friend's name. Doing what I could to hold back tears, I told him that it was his cousin. He went on to say how much of an inspiration his cousin had been to him. The very next time Cindy and I offered the course publicly, my friend’s sister was in the group. She listed her brother as one of her three mentors, which made it even tougher for me to get through my next part about potential. Fast forward a few years, and my friend’s sister has had at least as much impact on her community - but in very different ways.

Had I not seen such an amazing example of valuing others and being available from Terry, I don’t know that I would have worked as hard to do the same for that young man (or anyone else for that matter) all those years ago. I emphasized it as we looked at fostering a mentorship culture and I’ll do it again now: I’m in no way taking credit for anything that young man - and now, his sister - has accomplished. Being a part of their journey has been an absolute pleasure.

Seeing his worth drove me to make myself available. Showing I valued him earned his trust, like Terry earned mine. To build that foundation in the relationships you have with your team, I’ll challenge you to actively look for ways to acknowledge the value they each have and show that you’re available.