Earning Trust (and Influence) with Humility

With the limits of a title fresh in mind, let’s look at why it’s crucial that we EARN trust - and thereby, influence - so we have a legitimate shot at achieving all we need to as leaders. Spoiler alert: the humility we looked at previously is key! Before we do, though, it’s important that we each reflect on one situation where the title we had didn’t earn the level of respect we needed to get results. Now, identify one person you can work to build a trust-based connection with over the next week so your influence is more prevalent in the relationship than your authority.

I referenced Mark Cole heavily in detailing the strength of humility, mainly because of the global responsibility he carries while displaying humility as well as anyone I’ve ever interacted with personally. His travel schedule puts him around thirty-five countries per year, working with heads of state and leaders of the largest companies in each, with even more routinely coming to wherever he is. One of the most impactful things I’ve ever heard Mark say is, “I trust leaders who make mistakes. I don’t trust leaders who make excuses.” As powerful as this is coming from someone like Mark who deals with leaders around the world, how much more does that ring true for us - with those who have earned our trust as well as for how we need to work to earn trust and influence with the folks counting on us for leadership?

Having worked beside (and reported directly to) Kevin Arnold for more than a decade, I point to him yet again here. I can’t think of a single time where he gave an excuse for falling issues we ran into or goals we missed. And I certainly can’t point to a time where he allowed the blame for any of those to be passed on to me - even if I deserved it. Don’t miss my point here, we missed goals and we made our share of mistakes; everyone does. He was very intentional about passing a ton of credit on to me when we achieved our goals, but he was just as quick to accept responsibility when we didn’t. Can you see why I still feel the way I do about him all these years later?

Conversely, I had opportunities to observe far different behavior up the reporting chain during the time Kevin and I worked together. Two of the plant managers we worked for over the years were far less humble and very willing to throw anyone they could under the bus if it meant saving their own ass. (I may or may not have referred to one of them as Lumbergh, and he deserved it!) Neither of them seemed to ever do wrong; if you had any doubt about that, they were more than willing to tell you again even louder. In the rare cases where something seemingly reflected poorly on either of them, neither wasted time in detailing why it was actually one of their minion’s fault rather than their own. Both had the final say within the facility during their respective tenures but you can likely guess how limited their influence was beyond the authority of their title.

The humility I’ve experienced from folks like Kevin, Terry, and even Mark Cole amplifies any influence their titles carry and earned a level of trust that I never would have developed with any of them had they chosen to hide behind excuses rather than openly admitting to and owning any mistakes that occurred within their areas of responsibility. Those two plant managers were also always quick to share criticism for anything that wasn’t done exactly how they expected. As you can imagine, I never saw that received as well as the candid feedback given by the more humble mentors I continue to mention. That tied right back to influence too, so we’ll pick up there next.