Uncovering Your Hidden Strengths

To lead with influence over authority, to fully utilize the strength of humility, to ever begin to develop others, or to even capture the slightest return on investment from our relationships, we’ve got to realize that we are indeed capable and worthy of all those things. Without knowing your worth, it’s not humility; it’s self-depreciation. Make no mistake, this isn’t me accusing you of anything - although I’d bet the shoe often fits. The only way I can possibly address this in detail is by being completely transparent about how much I’ve struggled to accept my own worth, and how it remains a constant battle still today.

As we’ve worked through each aspect of leveraging leadership growth, looking at the strength we can each gain through great professional relationships, I’ve mentioned barely graduating high school a few times, as well as how I’ve never felt all that talented in any one thing. I had a few friends that were my age growing up, but the ones I hung out with the most were at least a few years old. Being younger, smaller, slower, weaker, and just plain behind all of them in so many ways meant I was always trying to keep up. That also left me frequently being the one who got picked the most. Today, that would likely be called bullying - but I genuinely believe most of it boiled down to kids being kids. That said, there were a handful who were just plain assholes and they never really grew out of it. (Be honest, you just pictured someone’s face didn’t you!)

At this point in my life, I understand it as a highly DRIVEN behavioral style but early on I saw my intense work ethic and desire to keep up as more of a survival mechanism. I’m sure there are folks who would love to use this as a nature versus nurture argument, and they’re welcome to. I’m 100% confident that God gave each of us the style that would allow us to have the most impact and it’s up to us from there to utilize it to the best of our ability, and I’m incredibly thankful for the style He gave me. That said, I’ve seen plenty of people go through similar experiences to mine and fold like cheap lawn chairs. I’ve also seen folks press through things I pray I never have to endure. All in all, I’m convinced that our individual paths, and the people we have opportunities to build relationships along the way, are key in uncovering our hidden strengths. Even then, though, we need to accept them before those strengths can truly serve us - or anyone else.

Several times to this point, I’ve referenced the strong work ethic I developed in my early teens. While I had to apply every bit of that in the jobs I held, like when I rode my bike to and from a construction site each day and tried to keep pace with grown men in hundred degree heat, that same approach carried over into every other level of shenanigans I engaged in. That work ethic eventually earned me respect with my peers, even when I couldn’t quite keep up, and their respect helped build my confidence over time. Even without being the biggest or the best, I realized that consistent grit and determination would help me get results a lazy person with great talent would likely never achieve.

While it took years, that drive to outwork most everyone around me eventually allowed me to feel almost comfortable interacting with people who I had previously seen as untouchable. Regardless of how long it takes, recognizing your unique strengths builds a foundation for confident relationships. Thankfully, some of the first professional relationships I was able to build opened the door to guidance I didn’t even know I needed. It was still up to me to reflect on it, though, so we’ll pick up there next time. Until then, I’ll challenge you to identify one of your hidden strengths and share it with a trusted peer for feedback. (You’re welcome to share it with me if you like…)