How Candid Conversations Shape Better Decisions

Earlier, I mentioned the HR Manager I worked with for over a decade providing a great example of having the confidence to connect with others and build relationships through the process. Whether it was during his time managing the human resource department locally or after he accepted a role based out of our company’s corporate office, Rod was always (and still is) willing to engage in the kind of honest dialogue necessary for sifting through options. I never reported directly to him, but I was part of his department for a long time so our interaction was very different from what I had with Terry. I can think of two very specific conversations with him that helped shape my career.

I had traveled to most of our organization’s facilities across North America between 2003 and 2009, supporting the fellow based in the UK who oversaw the entire behavior-based safety initiative company-wide. When he announced his retirement in early 2010, it seemed like a natural next step for me and, through everything I had done leading up to that point, I was the heir-apparent for his position. However, before I formally submitted my resume for consideration, I asked Rod for some time to discuss the potential move. Not only would accepting the role move me away from his department in our local facility, he had already significant experience supporting the corporate office so he had a very unique perspective. To suggest any conversation with Rod was ever less than candid would be a huge understatement. I can’t say I always liked what he told me but I never had to guess where he stood - on any topic! The interaction prior to me applying for that position with global responsibility was no different. He told me that while he didn’t want to lose me, he would support whatever decision I made. 

He coached me on several things leading up to the interview process, and even scheduled a separate time to work through a practice interview with me before the real one. One other suggestion he made was to get clarity around everything I’d be expected to do in the role as well as the salary range before even agreeing to a formal interview. I did both, worked through the interview process with the gentlemen who was retiring and our corporate safety director, and was offered the position soon after. As it turned out, Rod’s suggestion to address the specifics of all I’d be responsible for and the compensation involved was key in my decision to turn down the offer. There were no real surprises with regards to the work I would have been doing, I had watched that firsthand for close to a decade. The salary was a show-stopper. The offer was less than two-thirds of what the corporate safety director initially said he thought was too low, and about half the market rate for that level of travel and responsibility. Had Rod and I not had that honest dialogue, I wouldn’t have had all the information I needed to make a good decision.

A few years later, I had grown bored. Having declined the role leading the company’s behavior-based safety initiative globally, I was topped out in that particular career path and I was chomping at the bit to take on more. Rod still lived locally but worked primarily out of a corporate location in Michigan at the time. There was a position opening up locally that would give me the opportunity to make a lateral move but allow me to develop a whole new set of skills. Like he had done before, Rod challenged me with things to consider before taking the first step. I listened, but I didn’t necessarily take it to heart like I had previously. I interviewed for and was offered the position. Not long after finally moving into the role full time (it took several months to back-fill the role I had been in and I attempted to juggle both during that time), the manager I was training with gave a short notice and left the company. I learned to swim at the deep end of the pool! I won’t pretend that I did everything right, but I worked my tail off and was able to produce solid results. While I developed a level of expertise that still serves me today, it didn’t take long to realize that one of the things Rod cautioned me about was absolutely correct. The role required a tremendous amount of focus on compliance and that was never going away; if anything, it was increasing over time. Being so focused on checking government boxes rather than working to intentionally develop the people around me was miserable (at least for me), regardless of how good I got at doing it.

In the first case, the honest dialogue with Rod helped me make one of the best career decisions I’ve ever made. The second conversation was every bit as candid, I just brushed off part of it and charged forward. While I have no regrets around my decision or anything that’s happened since, his input was spot-on. If anything, it may have helped me realize that the parts of the role that sucked the life out of me were not going away and that I’d need to make some changes of my own to find the fulfillment I was after.

The common thread that served as a foundation for the candid conversations I had with Rod, Terry, and many others since has been trust. Without having complete trust in the source we’re receiving feedback from, we won’t likely form the strong alliances necessary for honest dialogue - so we’ll dig into the role trust plays in candid conversations soon.