Why Leaders Avoid Feedback (& Why They Shouldn’t)

I’m sure if we were having a conversation over coffee, we could list no less than a dozen reasons someone with leadership responsibility would avoid soliciting honest feedback. Before moving on, I’ll emphasize my intentionality for using the phrase “someone with leadership responsibility” rather than simply referring to that person as a leader. I’ve seldom seen anyone who avoids honest feedback earn the genuine influence required to truly lead their team; they may wield a level of authority, but that ain’t leadership. That said, and with all the reasons we could pile up through a one-on-one conversation, I’ve seen two of them create more issues than all the others I can think of combined.

In far too many cases, I’ve witnessed executives and business owners purposefully surround themselves with people who nod their heads in unison regardless of their actual opinion. On the rare occasion that someone penetrates that inner circle and is willing to express the slightest bit of concern about the emperor being naked, the shunning soon follows. Sometimes that person gets called into the principal’s office for an old-fashioned paddling, but just as often the most senior yes-men take it upon themselves to police the issue on behalf of their king. How can I detail this so explicitly? I’m so glad you asked!

Early in my career, I was willing to follow the crowd by nodding in agreement rather than sharing any feedback that may have been perceived as dissent, then join right in with that crowd later on by bitching about what I wasn’t willing to address initially. Through the example Terry provided by consistently giving me feedback and by watching him routinely doing the same with anyone at any level of the organization, I saw the positive impact it could have and I realized just how rare it really was. Interestingly enough, many on the receiving end of his feedback took offense - regardless of how respectful he was with his delivery (and we’ll look at how important that respectful delivery is next).

With that example as a baseline, and becoming increasingly unwilling to watch someone in a position of authority take advantage of those they viewed as their minions, I found myself in more and more situations where I was providing the person holding leadership responsibility with feedback they worked hard to avoid. I won’t pretend that all of it was delivered as respectfully as it could have been. Quite honestly, there were a handful of times where the conversations got rather heated. Before you cast any stones or ask if that’s how Jesus would have handled those situations, I’ll point to a time where He flipped over a bunch of tables and chased the lawyers with a whip…

Regardless of who provided the feedback or how it was delivered, each of the so-called leaders I’ve seen choose to avoid it were also actively choosing to avoid the hidden power that feedback could offer. In each case, sooner or later, they found themselves dealing with significant problems that could have been minimized - and possibly eliminated altogether - had they been willing to accept a different perspective rather than pushing anyone away who wasn’t nodding in total agreement.

While it’s a distant second, the next most frequent reason I’ve seen for a leader avoiding feedback, and this time I’m just as intentional in referring to them as a leader, boils down to the demands on their time. Some of the most influential leaders I’ve ever had the chance to study have had schedules that the population at-large simply couldn’t comprehend. In each case, I’ve seen them work to build teams that help them live in their areas of strength while supporting their weaknesses; and every leader has weaknesses, the best leaders are the quickest to admit them and do all they can to offset them. Unfortunately, the folks tasked with supporting these highly influential leaders in their areas of weakness can get a bit star-struck. I’ve seen many become engrossed in self-preservation and focus solely on telling their boss how great things are while dodging a tough conversation with every ounce of energy they have. I once heard Alan Mullaly share a story from early in his time as CEO for Ford Motor Company where the company had lost BILLIONS in the previous quarter but his executive team all reported positive results in the same period. He explained that this was a result of his predecessor being unwilling to accept anything less than a positive report - reality be damned…

While this second scenario isn’t from the leader purposefully avoiding feedback, it does create an immediate need for them to actively seek out honest feedback. That requires time; time they have very little of. Doing this can be as simple as providing explicit direct - or for our purposes here, honest feedback - to our direct reports detailing the expectation that they openly share their concerns. This won’t likely ever happen with the ones who shun the slightest bit of dissent, but they’re not really leading anyway. But even the leaders who do solicit honest feedback from their teams will have to help them learn what it looks like to do this with respect - so we’ll pick up there next time.