The Confidence to Connect

The role Terry played as a mentor wasn’t limited to answering an occasional question or serving as an example for how to speak in front of others, I also watched how he worked to connect with others. While he could have relied on the authority of his position, he was very intentional in how he dedicated time to get to know team members in all areas of the facility; he and the HR Manager I worked with for years were the only two members of the management team I ever saw block time on their schedules to work in various production roles. At that point, most of their peers had worked there since rocks were soft, had a solid understanding of the processes through the plant, and had known the senior employees for years (or even decades). Terry and Rod, being new to the company and even newer to the Shenandoah Valley, invested a tremendous amount of energy into building relationships. Their time working in production processes gave them some familiarity with the work involved but bought them even more respect from the folks they worked beside. 

As the HR Manager, Rod had face time with nearly everyone; interviewing most of the candidates who applied, onboard the new hires, and with everyone in quarterly meetings - and doesn’t even factor in the time he spent on the manufacturing floor or his interaction with folks who needed extra attention in the disciplinary process… Since Terry’s roles were initially tied to maintenance and engineering, both with limited interaction across other departments, he jumped at the chance to be involved in the behavior-based safety observer training and any spot he could get in new hire orientation. (I didn’t understand his reasoning behind either until years later, I just thought he liked doing training.)

Learning how that influence could produce better results, at least over the long haul, than relying on authority alone was impactful. Seeing how being intentional about connecting with others helped both Terry and Rod establish relationship, and thereby earn influence even with folks who didn’t report to them, provided me with a solid example of what leadership could and should look like. What I didn’t understand yet though was that working to establish those connections required both of them to have a high level of confidence.

During my three-plus decades in the workforce, I’ve seen hundreds of folks present information to groups. While much of that has been supervisors covering expectations for the upcoming shift with their immediate team, it’s ranged to eloquent keynotes given in front of thousands of people. Although some of those keynotes were masterfully crafted, I don’t think I can remember anyone being more genuine in their delivery than Terry or Rod. Whether it was in a one-on-one conversation, their time working on an assembly line, or sharing information with a large group, they were both always confident in what they had to say and sincere in how they said it. Looking back, I realize that the terror I felt when I was first tasked with speaking in front of others was tied more to a lack of confidence in myself than a lack of understanding of what I was covering. Since neither of them rested solely on the authority of their position, and they were both confident in who they were, they could focus more on the people they were building relationships with, which earned more influence than barking orders ever could have.

Early on, it was easy for me to get stuck on being just a high school graduate with a very basic background. I was often more concerned with reasons others wouldn’t pay attention to the information I shared than I was with how much that content could help them if they took it to heart. I’d bet a similar lack of self-worth is a big part of why so many people say they’re more afraid of public speaking than they are of dying. As much as I learned through direct interaction with Terry, Dennis, Rod, and many others over the years since, a side revelation (which of few of my mentors have actively worked to hammer into my thick head) has been that my humble background as a carpenter and a machine operator doesn’t diminish the value I offer; if anything, that experience helps others relate to me even better. And as my own self-worth has grown over time, I’ve seen a tremendous difference in my ability to connect and build relationships with others. Being more confident in myself has allowed me to focus my energy on the other person. Those stronger relationships have yielded much more influence, influence that’s helped me achieve things I likely never would have since I had very little authority in any of the positions I held, and those relationships have provided me with exponential opportunities for learning - so we’ll pick up there next time.