Name It, Find the Seed, Own Your Part

The earliest adversities I detailed through this process didn’t just serve as a foundation for learning to hone each of Hill’s leadership attributes, those initial struggles played a pivotal role in me even understanding how necessary looking for the hidden seed really is. Without coming to terms with that, I may have never realized that many of those “fine” situations at the beginning of my career were illusions. I’ve seen so many great people get hit with a challenge and struggle through it the best they can, only to run into a very similar issue soon after. All too often, the only thing that comes from this revolving door process is a story that gets shared at the lunch table explaining why they are where they are. Truth be told, Hill’s quote - “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” - was key in me recognizing that I had no choice but to dig for more than an excuse from each tough situation I had to fight through.

While the harvest has never been automatic, neither has identifying any seed. To have the slightest chance, we have to name it. Coasting through life’s ups and downs may be the path of least resistance on any given day. I remember sitting through a training session in my mid twenties and hearing someone explain that we could pay the price of discipline or the price of regret. They followed that comment by saying the price of regret was much higher because it came with all the interest of neglecting discipline. Once we’ve named the adversity for what it is, choosing discipline and putting an immediate stop to how we’ve drifted through similar previous ones is a solid start. Avoid the drama and denial with everything we have inside us.

Then, and only then, do we have an honest chance of finding the real seed hidden inside that adversity. That’s where reflection comes into the mix, the reflection that’s still incredibly difficult for me. Not only does that require us to scour through events we’d rather never think about again, it will force us to look at them closer than we ever have for any possible greater opportunity.

Once we’ve found each seed, our work is just getting started. Without owning the role we had in the initial adversity, taking possession of the greater benefit is highly unlikely - and we may just find ourselves going through the exact same thing again. But when we take full responsibility for our attitude, our actions, and the ripple effect that follows, we’ve started the nurturing process. Owning our role means accepting blame when it’s ours to accept. Don’t misunderstand me here, though, I’m not suggesting that we take on blame that’s not ours. Pull what we can and move on.

These first three steps keep us from wasting the seed. Drift misses it. Bitterness spends it. Blame keeps us from planting it - and it may actually hand that seed to someone else who will plant it. The next three steps continue this process and help ensure we can lead from wherever we stand. Before we work through those, think about the bad situation you listed earlier when I mentioned that my harvest was never automatic. Name it in one sentence. Identify one possible seed right now, then write one thing that’s yours to own and one thing that’s not.