Influence Born of Protection

Earlier, I shared what John Maxwell taught me (and a group of a few hundred others) in 2015 about how one door can lead to another - and then another. The relationships we build, especially when we’re willing to invest the necessary time and energy into nurturing them, do the same. And influence follows close behind.

In 2017 or 2018, my cousin launched a small, local newspaper geared toward engaging the surrounding community without the nonsense and slant that exists in EVERY traditional media outlet on the planet today. Most of the contributors shared stories about local history and niche interests. Shortly after the launch, she and I were talking and she suggested I do a monthly column tying communication - like Cindy and I were starting to teach the business clients we served - back to personal relationships. I admired what she was doing so I agreed.

As we worked through the Covid lockdowns and continued doing all we could to ensure Granny was receiving the care she needed, that relationship became incredibly valuable. My cousin’s father was Granny’s youngest brother and had just moved into a private home that provided him with round-the-clock care. In talking with her about some of what we were working through with the facility where Granny lived, she mentioned that this private home had one more room available and connected us with the family caring for her father. Within a few weeks, Granny had a new place to live; one where she received direct attention, a place where we could visit her daily, and one where she could spend time daily with her brother who she hadn’t seen in several years. Had the price been twice as much, the juice would have been more than worth the squeeze. It was not. It was actually around forty percent of what the large facility had been pillaging while not fulfilling what they said they did or what they were required to do by law.

I frequently emphasize that the truest form of leadership is the act of serving others, rather than being something tied to the authority that comes solely through position or title. In fact, I alluded to that before when I referenced the (not so) complete care facility’s “executive” team instead of calling them a “leadership” team. The only people I ever saw them serve were themselves. This small, private home, however, modeled servant leadership daily through the care and compassion they showed Granny and her brother. The adversities we worked through with that larger organization reinforced that true leadership isn’t tied to professional status, contracts, or institutional favor but to courageous, empathetic advocacy for those who cannot fully advocate for themselves. A family with no position authority whatsoever modeled leadership better than that organization filled with people holding flashy titles ever attempted to.

Pivoting through caregiving conflicts builds authentic relational power; consistency in defending the vulnerable earns trust no system can cancel. We rarely know which relationship will lead us to the right door when we need it most. If we only invest in relationships that provide us with an immediate, measurable return, we’ll likely never find the seeds that lead to the greatest opportunities - and we don’t deserve to if we view relationships for only what they provide us immediately.

Quiet consistency, moral clarity, and cooperative effort amid blacklisting and fallout strengthened family unity, earned quiet respect in new networks, and proved influence compounds when we model protection of the vulnerable without positional power. I’m forever grateful for the family who cared for Granny for the rest of her life, allowing us to come into their home to spend time with her we never would have had otherwise. All said, the conflicts with the larger facility helped turn protection into relational power. We’ll work through that as we begin tying this idea of defending the vulnerable together. Before that, though, think of a small piece of your advocacy-for-the-vulnerable story and share it with someone you trust. Be intentional about detailing the ripple effect your actions had on others.