Conflicts Turn Protection into Relational Power

Granny passed away on August 3, 2020; not from Covid or from a lack of care. Had it not been for the family who cared for her in their home, I’m not sure either of those could have been said. What I am sure of is that we would not have had the time with her through the final weeks of her life that we did if she’d still been in the large facility. I said it before and I’ll say it again: I'm forever grateful for that family and the compassion they showed all of us through that time. While I miss her every day, she was six weeks shy of her 97th birthday and lived a very full life.

Our lives were wide-open throughout the final year Granny was with us; business momentum and unbelievable opportunities, then the screeching halt all that came to in March of 2020. In the 44 years I had with Granny, I learned a lot from her. That said, I believe the depth of how I experienced Napoleon Hill’s eighth leadership attribute, sympathy and understanding, may never have come without what we fought through on her behalf from January to June of her final year. If nothing else, that whole mess taught me that adversity’s seed grows strongest in relational soil. Those caregiving trials forced us to understand her struggles deeply, and to do everything in our power to gain cooperation under pressure. While it wasn’t with the organization she had lived at from more than 20 years, it resulted in us building influence that no title or institutional approval can replicate.

Making the best of any conflict isn’t about defeating institutions—it’s intentional preparation that transforms moral stands into chains of deeper relational influence and leadership readiness. All too often, a potential conflict with any type of entity we view as larger or more powerful than ourselves results in one of two things: a complete blow up that serves no one involved or making the choice to avoid addressing the issue at all due to the perceived repercussions. Without each of the eleven attributes we’ve looked at repeatedly through this process, I don’t think I could have avoided the complete blow up. (I can honestly say that any perceived or real repercussions were the last thing I would have been concerned about!)

Leaning into all the self-control I could muster and taking a stand to do all I knew how to defend Granny when she was the most vulnerable I had ever seen her certainly didn’t win me any friends within that large organization - and I have zero regrets. I’ve never had much use for anyone who’s willing to say one thing publicly and do something else privately, and many of the folks on that executive team were doing just that on the daily. And the ripple effects carried through to a few other organizations that were a bit too cozy with them; so be it. But from even those adversities, we found (and are still finding) seeds to far greater opportunities - in business and in relationships.

As with each “bad situation” I’ve shared with you through this process, we’ll wrap this one up with a list of questions geared at helping you mine your own conflicts, caregiving or otherwise, for whatever seed may still be hidden within them. Before we do that, I want you to take just a few minutes to reflect on each of the things I’ve challenged with to this point and outline how one protective stand could amplify your current leadership impact at home, at work, or in your community.