Candid Conversations Drive Return on Investment

Since we looked at the role of trust in candid conversations earlier and we just worked through how trust is crucial for solidifying any relationship we care about, let’s tie the two together to ensure each candid conversation we’re engaged in has a shot at fueling growth in the relationship as well as our leadership effectiveness. As a kid, one of my favorite cartoons was GI Joe. At the end of each episode, a narrator summarized the lesson and closed by saying, “and knowing is half the battle.” 

Making strategic investments into every relationship will build trust over time, and that trust is indeed a foundation that must be in place for any candid conversation to have a shot of being received - turning in into “alliance feedback” instead of the dreaded “construction criticism” that none of us ever really like. Even then, though, two more things need to happen if we’re going to capture a measurable return on investment. We need to be disciplined enough to participate in those candid conversations, regardless of which end of the conversation we’re on, and we’ve got to be willing to take action on what we learn during the conversation. GI Joe was correct, “Knowing is half the battle.” But only half! And I’ve never heard of anyone winning a battle when they stop halfway through…

Whether it’s a peer group like our Executive Leadership Elite Think Tank or through individual relationships we’ve worked to cultivate, both parties should feel value and appreciation from the start. As trust builds over time, a solid foundation is developed for addressing issues we may never consider discussing with someone we haven’t built the same kind of relationship with. Not only can a tough conversation with even the best intentions ruffle feathers when that foundation isn’t in place, it can be emotionally draining - for both parties involved - and the juice may not be worth the squeeze when we’re not sure the other person is even interested in our perspective. 

I recently volunteered to talk with a business owner about an event he hosted that hadn’t gone the way he had hoped. Having hosted events for more than a decade that were at least as big, albeit with a very different purpose and crowd, and watching his process leading up to and during his event, I hoped to offer some outside perspective that could help turn what looked like a loss on paper into a valuable learning opportunity that served him well moving forward. While I enjoyed the conversation and I believe he’s a great person, it only took me a few minutes to realize I wouldn’t be asking many questions or offering much input. That said, I haven’t known him very long and we haven’t had enough one-on-one interaction to earn the kind of trust necessary for him to receive - or even ask for - my constructive criticism. There definitely wasn’t a strong enough foundation for any input I offered to be seen as alliance feedback, so I chose to mostly listen and reinforce the ideas he shared.

With that example in mind, think about similar experiences of your own; one where trust hadn’t quite been established and one with a tremendous amount of mutual trust. Where was the candid conversation most natural? If you were on the giving end, which person received your input the best (and actually acted on it)? If you were on the receiving end, who were you more receptive to getting feedback from - even if it wasn’t feedback you wanted to hear? I realize each of these questions are rhetorical, but hopefully they resonate with you. 

When we’ve made strategic (and intentional) investments into building trust in each of our relationships, the weight of having even the toughest conversations is a little bit lighter. The odds of action being taken increase dramatically. But even then, how the message is delivered matters. I can’t share something with Cindy the way I want to hear it and expect her to get what she needs; that won’t strengthen our relationship and it won’t drive return on investment. We’ll look at that in more detail soon by working through how emotional intelligence impacts our relational ROI. Before that though, we need to consider the investment we should each be making into getting and giving mentorship, then we’ll touch on how the collaboration we achieve through that mentorship can multiply our return on investment.