The Quiet Years That Weren’t Quiet

After eighteen months with very limited opportunities to earn a living and far too many challenges we’d have been happy to do without, a few quiet years of wide-open work to re-establish the momentum we had lost and rebuild our bank accounts would have been wonderful. Before I share what actually happened, consider how often you hear folks say something like “as soon as things slow down, I’ll start” whatever it is that they’re not doing but kinda wish they were.

Who’s face just flashed in front of you? Was it your own? Do things ever really “slow down”? I was very intentional in saying “but kinda wish they were” because we all tell a powerful story with what we allow to occupy time on our calendars. There’s no mythical land where a 25th hour magically lands in our day, and there’s certainly no 8th day that ever gets added to our week. And guess what: the quiet years of heads-down work we would have loved to experience weren’t very quiet!

I shared previously how I re-engaged in some safety and human resources work through late 2020 and into 2021 with hopes of keeping our lights on, and how that opened the door to what’s since grown into one of the best business relationships we’ve ever had. Even then, though, there were also a few doors that should have had caution tape across them; but that’s just part of the process. On the family side, we experienced a solid mix of ups and downs as well. Our son got married on August 1, 2020 - just two days before Granny passed away. His wedding was nothing short of wonderful, and the rainbow that touched the ground in front of us during the rehearsal meant more than I could possibly explain here. Soon after that, his wife’s family went through a traumatic experience and we saw Matt be stronger for them than we could have ever imagined. Cindy’s dad passed away at the end of 2021 and she was tasked with serving as executor of his estate. I’ve learned that anything involving the government brings more than a fair share of ass pain and that certainly held true in that case. Throw in a few attorneys and some family members who didn’t necessarily have pure intentions and you have a recipe for something just plain nasty. On the other side of the spectrum, we welcomed three new grandkids between April 2022 and September 2023. Our son and his wife had their first in March 2023. Our daughter and her husband had their fourth in April 2022 and the fifth in September 2023, just after our son-in-law fell while picking peaches in their orchard and broke his femur.

Each of those have a complete story of their own. Sharing all that detail isn’t the point. The reality for all of us is that there’s no such thing as quiet years, especially when we’re working to accomplish anything of significance. Each thing I touched on here was indeed a high or a low, and sometimes a mix of the two, and I’d bet you could share a long list of your own along the same lines. For me and Cindy, we never saw any option other than pushing through each of them - good, bad, minor, or major - with all the focus we had in us. After a public or moral fight, the unglamorous grind is where most people quietly quit nurturing the seeds they’ve found in previous adversities. I completely understand, it’s hard! But consistency in the “ordinary” years - especially after an extremely rough season - is the real leadership test. Maintaining that consistency over the long haul produces relationships that offer tremendous strength and it uncovers some relationships that yield every bit as much strain. We’ll look at both next. Before we do that, take the time to identify one stretch of your life that looked stable from the outside but was quietly draining. I’ve mentioned the habit of going the extra mile multiple times to this point. What extra-mile habit kept (or could have kept) the soil you were planting in from going hard?