The Quiet Strength

As much as I wish I could say that I learned to display empathy and earned cooperation quickly, I can’t. The adversities Cindy and I were working through during Matt’s elementary school years proved to be some of the toughest I had experienced to that point. While I have since been able to find the seeds to equal and greater benefit that were hidden within them, I could not list any of that benefit right away - or for years to come. 

Regardless, just small improvements in my capacity for being empathetic compounded (slowly) over time. I’ve always had high expectations for Matt, but I’ve also always been willing to go to bat for him whenever and however he needed it. As we worked through the health issues and what felt like daily battles with his teachers, I’m sure some of my expectations were higher than he was capable of. As I learned to practice more empathy, though, I could see subtle shifts in his progress and in my relationship with him - not to mention my relationship with Cindy. 

Accepting responsibility for the few things that were in my control helped me earn more influence with them both, gradually yielding more cooperation. As each leadership attribute took shape, I developed an even better foundation for leading others in a professional setting. Pivoting through family trials builds authentic relational power; quiet consistency in chaos earns trust no title can grant. Although the folks I worked with were largely oblivious to what Cindy and I were working through personally, those experiences led to a quiet strength, the kind based on how we handle situations when no one is looking. Influence often starts at home, and earning it with the folks who aren’t tied to the authority that comes from a title or position inspires broader influence in everything else we put our hands to.

Before moving on, I’ll emphasize once more that I’m keenly aware of many others who have faced far more adversity and handled it much more effectively. None of what I share is for sympathy, but to provide examples that hopefully spur you to look for whatever seeds may still be hidden in the adversities you’ve faced. We’ll look at how selfless service, like dialing in on what we can do for others in their time of need, can turn chaos into strength next. Right now, though, I want you to think about a small piece of your family growth journey; identify one positive ripple that came from a tough situation and share that with someone who can benefit by hearing it.