Mining Conflicts for Sympathy and Cooperation Seeds

I realize there will be folks who read what I’ve shared here detailing the conflicts we experienced while doing all we could to advocate for Granny during the most vulnerable time of her nearly 97 years as throwing stones at a particular organization. While some of this may have been soft lobs in their general direction, I can assure you that the real stones were thrown face to face. I’ve only alluded to them here, while keeping the organization nearly anonymous, with hopes of stirring any emotion possible inside of you to challenge you to mine through any similar conflict you’ve experienced in order to pull every possible seed still hidden there. 

For us, that battle reinforced that true leadership isn’t tied to professional status, contracts, or institutional favor but to courageous, empathetic advocacy for those who cannot fully advocate for themselves. Quiet consistency, moral clarity, and cooperative effort amid blacklisting and fallout strengthened family unity, earned quiet respect in new networks, and proved influence compounds when we model protection of the vulnerable without positional power.

Like each scenario before, here are five questions for you to consider:

1. What conflict or defense of a vulnerable person still carries weight?
2. What blind spot or habit did it reveal, and what seed (e.g., sympathy, understanding, or cooperation) was hidden?
3. How could a decisive protective stand strengthen your courage or cooperative relationships?
4. In what ways might nurturing this seed improve your influence without title—especially with family, teams, or those who depend on you?
5. What three small, immediate actions can you take this week to plant and nurture it?

With the pace I’m wired to run at - all day, every day - slowing down to truly think through questions like these is nothing short of painful. Thankfully, Cindy has done an amazing job of building reflection and thinking time into the time we spend together. She also routinely sits me in time-out to make sure I pay attention to the progress we’re making on any given project. Otherwise, I’d likely keep pushing forward with my head down and miss so many of the seeds hidden within the adversities we’re working through. Make no mistake, targeted reflection turns moral conflicts into leadership gold. My challenge for you is to start defending the vulnerable (and yourself) with clearer eyes now. Be sure to write down your answer to each of these five questions, and do it by hand because there’s just no substitute for how we internalize something we’ve written out that way. Then share the first action step you can put into practice with someone you’re willing to be accountable to. By the time you’ve done that, you should be ready for your next adversity - because it will certainly come. And I’ll share how defending the vulnerable helped prepare us for the adversities that followed next.