Special Attention to ALL the Details

In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry says “People who manage relationships well are able to see the benefit of connecting with many different people, even those they are not fond of. Solid relationships are something that should be sought and cherished.”

While I’ve only been aggressively studying emotional intelligence and William Marston’s work on The Model of Human Behavior for the last six years or so, I’ve intuitively understood the value solid relationships have in achieving results. I often share that I’ve never really felt like I had any real natural talent in a specific area. But realizing that communication skills could be developed and that building better relationships played a big role in that, coupled with what I have always believed to be a strong work ethic, has helped me in more ways that I could begin to hash out here. And that’s definitely not something that’s exclusive to me!

With all that in mind,...

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The Difference in Recognition and Appreciation

In the last post, we looked at a few things that will stand out in the behaviors of the more DRIVEN folks when their emotions are running full speed ahead. We also looked at what we may want to consider doing, at least when it’s within our control, in order to ease some of the tension in the situation and help those folks operate in a state they actually enjoy. I wrapped up with a reference to recognizing the tremendous amount of effort they put into nearly everything they touch. That fills their tank, but it doesn’t necessarily fill everyone’s tank…

The next two primary styles have a much heavier focus on the people they’re interacting with than the specific task at hand. We all cherish genuine recognition, but the INSPIRING and SUPPORTIVE behavioral styles would much rather know they’re valued as individuals than just for what they’re accomplishing!

Since the INSPIRING folks, typically making up around 30% of the population, enjoy being...

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Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry defines the last component of emotional intelligence that we looked at, relationship management, as “your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully.” As I’ve suggested several times up to this point, this is often fairly intuitive for most of us. But what about the times where it’s not as obvious? What if there were a framework we could apply that would make this simpler in nearly every situation?

The awareness Bradberry refers to can make a huge difference in communicating effectively and developing strong relationships. This matters so much in workplace scenarios that Cindy and I built an entire lesson into our Emerging Leader Development course to provide participants with tools they can use to do this more effectively right away. When we’re able to tailor that course and deliver it in person for organizations, we offer the option to build...

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Strong Relationships Build Strong Teams

Once we understand the framework for accurately picking up on the emotions of the person we’re interacting with, by recognizing and understanding their behaviors, we can begin honing the fourth component of emotional intelligence - relationship development.

Let’s be honest, building strong relationships requires quite a bit of intentional effort! That said, I can’t think of a single area of my life where the energy I invested into creating a solid relationship with someone - be that personally, professionally, or a combination of the two - hasn’t ended up yielding far more value than I ever expected.

Consider the best relationships in your life… Did they just happen on their own or was there a good bit of work involved? Most definitely! Were there ever any bumps in the road along the way? I’m sure there was. Who are the people in your life that you have the most loyalty to? I’m guessing it’s the folks you have the strongest...

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The Components of Emotional Intelligence

Since we now have a fairly solid grasp on Why Emotional Intelligence is Important, let’s look at what are considered to be the components of emotional intelligence so we can have some hope of actually being able to develop it within ourselves and within the teams we’re responsible for leading.

Around 2,500 years ago, Socrates said “to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” I never met the guy personally, but everything I’ve heard points to him being a fairly smart dude… And if emotional intelligence really does account for 58% of performance in all types of jobs, knowing thyself probably is a fairly important thing to have in the mix! When we look at what I’ve seen referenced by multiple sources as the four components of emotional intelligence, the first thing we come to is Self-Awareness. In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry defines self-awareness as “your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment...

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The Power of Collaboration

So last time we looked at why it’s important for someone in a leadership role to develop emotional intelligence... Whether that’s us in the role or it’s the leader we report to, not understanding what causes those highest emotional moments can drive quite the wedge between folks who generally get along well otherwise. But why is emotional intelligence important for everyone - regardless of the level of leadership responsibility they hold?

I frequently reference a study done by Salesforce.com that showed “86% of the executives they surveyed cited lack of collaboration and ineffective communication as the primary reason for workplace failure.” We often hear the term “individual contributor” with regards to someone who isn’t in a leadership role, but how often do we really see someone who truly works alone without any interaction with other people? I can’t think of a single example!

If that Salesforce study is even close to...

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A Simple Change of Focus

What we looked at in the last post can make an immediate impact in nearly every scenario but if we really want to build a culture of effective communication skills in the workplace, we may need to make a simple change in what we focus on…

We live in a world of constant pressure to perform and achieve results. Truth be told, I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing! I believe that’s how we build a strong self image and earn a fair wage. The challenge that comes with that lies in how this can impact our approach to so many of the most critical conversations we have with the people around us - the people we work with AND the people we’re responsible for leading!

When we adapt the pace we use to match the other person, we’ve made a big step toward putting together a message they can more easily receive. But depending on what we’re focused on, our pace may only play a small part in the overall result!

I don’t remember where I first...

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Who’s Setting the Pace?

I closed the last post with a promise to share the two most powerful things I’ve learned over the past five years as I’ve studied the DISC Model of Human Behavior. It just so happens that these two are also incredibly simple to understand and just as easy to apply! Just think about how much more we could all get accomplished if everything worked that way!

Let’s start by digging into the one that we can almost always SEE within the first few seconds we’re around someone, even if we’ve never interacted with them before.

We’re all wired a certain way right out of the factory. In most cases, we can begin to tell whether a child is more Outgoing or more Reserved by the time they’re two or three years old. There are certainly some times where this isn’t just glaringly obvious and there will be some situations that cause each of us to respond differently than we normally would. But in the vast majority of the scenarios we each face on a daily...

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It’s HOW You Say It...

If I only had a dollar for each time Cindy’s told me, “It’s not what you say, it’s HOW you say it…” Can you relate - with me or with Cindy??? I can sure think of a bunch of times where I’ve felt that same way!

In providing yet another answer to the question we’ve looked at in the last two posts, Why is leadership development important?, let’s take a look at how much effective communication matters… In doing that, we almost have to consider just how little attention this gets as outstanding individual contributors climb through the ranks in their organization - until something crazy happens that shines a spotlight on the issue!

As I think back to all the times Cindy has made that comment to me, I know there were a bunch of instances where I simply brushed her off by saying, “That’s just how I am.” While that is indeed the case, it wasn’t until I learned how to understand and apply The Model of Human...

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Don’t Just Get It Right, Get It Correct!

Before we close the loop on what we can do to exceed expectations for the folks with the final primary behavioral, I’m going to insert a quick plug for the complimentary session Cindy and I are hosting on Friday, Feb 12 at 2:30p on How Top Leaders Set the Tone for Recruitment & Retention. Whether you have a SHRM or HRCI credential that you can use the approved continuing education for or not, the only reason I can imagine this not being a relevant topic would be that you just don’t mind hemorrhaging money due to turnover. And if that’s the case, no worries at all. But if that topic will be of any value, here’s the link to register at no cost

Now, let’s look at some things we can be sure to do to really exceed expectations when we’re serving the 25% of the population who are Reserved and Task-Oriented; our more CAUTIOUS friends…

While the folks who have this CONTEMPLATIVE style will approach things with a slower pace, it’s...

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