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In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry says “People who manage relationships well are able to see the benefit of connecting with many different people, even those they are not fond of. Solid relationships are something that should be sought and cherished.”

While I’ve only been aggressively studying emotional intelligence and William Marston’s work on The Model of Human Behavior for the last six years or so, I’ve intuitively understood the value solid relationships have in achieving results. I often share that I’ve never really felt like I had any real natural talent in a specific area. But realizing that communication skills could be developed and that building better relationships played a big role in that, coupled with what I have always believed to be a strong work ethic, has helped me in more ways that I could begin to hash out here. And that’s definitely not something that’s exclusive to me!

With all that in mind,...

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The Difference in Recognition and Appreciation

In the last post, we looked at a few things that will stand out in the behaviors of the more DRIVEN folks when their emotions are running full speed ahead. We also looked at what we may want to consider doing, at least when it’s within our control, in order to ease some of the tension in the situation and help those folks operate in a state they actually enjoy. I wrapped up with a reference to recognizing the tremendous amount of effort they put into nearly everything they touch. That fills their tank, but it doesn’t necessarily fill everyone’s tank…

The next two primary styles have a much heavier focus on the people they’re interacting with than the specific task at hand. We all cherish genuine recognition, but the INSPIRING and SUPPORTIVE behavioral styles would much rather know they’re valued as individuals than just for what they’re accomplishing!

Since the INSPIRING folks, typically making up around 30% of the population, enjoy being...

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Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry defines the last component of emotional intelligence that we looked at, relationship management, as “your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully.” As I’ve suggested several times up to this point, this is often fairly intuitive for most of us. But what about the times where it’s not as obvious? What if there were a framework we could apply that would make this simpler in nearly every situation?

The awareness Bradberry refers to can make a huge difference in communicating effectively and developing strong relationships. This matters so much in workplace scenarios that Cindy and I built an entire lesson into our Emerging Leader Development course to provide participants with tools they can use to do this more effectively right away. When we’re able to tailor that course and deliver it in person for organizations, we offer the option to build...

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Strong Relationships Build Strong Teams

Once we understand the framework for accurately picking up on the emotions of the person we’re interacting with, by recognizing and understanding their behaviors, we can begin honing the fourth component of emotional intelligence - relationship development.

Let’s be honest, building strong relationships requires quite a bit of intentional effort! That said, I can’t think of a single area of my life where the energy I invested into creating a solid relationship with someone - be that personally, professionally, or a combination of the two - hasn’t ended up yielding far more value than I ever expected.

Consider the best relationships in your life… Did they just happen on their own or was there a good bit of work involved? Most definitely! Were there ever any bumps in the road along the way? I’m sure there was. Who are the people in your life that you have the most loyalty to? I’m guessing it’s the folks you have the strongest...

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Understanding the World Around Us

In unpacking the first two components of emotional intelligence, self-awareness and self-management, I referenced the research William Marston did almost 100 years ago as he prepared to write The Emotions of Normal People. Before we dive into the third component, I want you to really think about the complexity involved with reading someone’s emotions. Heck, it’s not always all that easy to keep a firm grip on our own! With that in mind, what was Marston focusing on as he conducted that research?

Nearly twenty-five years ago, during the first training session I ever sat through on a new process called “behavior-based safety” that was being rolled out in the manufacturing facility where I worked, I learned the importance of focusing on behaviors rather than attitudes or emotions. We can OBSERVE behaviors; we can’t always see emotions and attitudes unless someone is exhibiting outwardly through their behaviors!

Having shared that quick history lesson,...

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The WHY Helps Us Take Action

Many of us intuitively recognize where we’re strong and where we have blind spots. Experience can serve as an amazing teacher IF we’re willing to analyze it and we’re willing to take action based on what we learn from analyzing it. The challenge someone who’s as impatient as I tend to be can run into when relying on experience alone for mastering a new skill is that it can take a really long time to have all the experiences we need to build a solid foundation for making great decisions. Even then, just knowing WHAT happened without having a clear understanding of WHY it happened can limit the effectiveness of those decisions.

I recently had a conversation with a client where they explained a situation with one of their employees who had made similar mistakes a few times in a row when completing the same task. While the mistakes weren’t exactly the same, the client felt like the second one should not have happened since they had pointed out the first...

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The Components of Emotional Intelligence

Since we now have a fairly solid grasp on Why Emotional Intelligence is Important, let’s look at what are considered to be the components of emotional intelligence so we can have some hope of actually being able to develop it within ourselves and within the teams we’re responsible for leading.

Around 2,500 years ago, Socrates said “to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” I never met the guy personally, but everything I’ve heard points to him being a fairly smart dude… And if emotional intelligence really does account for 58% of performance in all types of jobs, knowing thyself probably is a fairly important thing to have in the mix! When we look at what I’ve seen referenced by multiple sources as the four components of emotional intelligence, the first thing we come to is Self-Awareness. In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry defines self-awareness as “your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment...

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The Power of Collaboration

So last time we looked at why it’s important for someone in a leadership role to develop emotional intelligence... Whether that’s us in the role or it’s the leader we report to, not understanding what causes those highest emotional moments can drive quite the wedge between folks who generally get along well otherwise. But why is emotional intelligence important for everyone - regardless of the level of leadership responsibility they hold?

I frequently reference a study done by Salesforce.com that showed “86% of the executives they surveyed cited lack of collaboration and ineffective communication as the primary reason for workplace failure.” We often hear the term “individual contributor” with regards to someone who isn’t in a leadership role, but how often do we really see someone who truly works alone without any interaction with other people? I can’t think of a single example!

If that Salesforce study is even close to...

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The Power of Great Relationships

I know, the last post hit the idea of Why is Emotional Intelligence Important? with a stick - looking at Bradberry’s statement suggesting it accounts for 58% of performance in ALL types of jobs - but we didn't’ really dig into any specific scenarios of where it mattered. 

I realized I closed last time with a commitment to share a practical approach each of us can take to develop our own emotional intelligence but I’ve rarely seen anyone be willing to add yet another thing to their to-do list without having some solid justification for it. So with that in mind, let’s look at a few things you’ve almost certainly had to deal with at one level or another before I even start challenging you to take on one more thing.

Have you worked for someone who would sometimes blow a gasket and no one around really understood what led to it? Maybe it was something they were dealing with at home; maybe it was something they had just been told through an email or...

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Why is Emotional Intelligence Important?

There’s a section in chapter three of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry titled “The Impact of EQ” that shares some statistical that nearly knocked me out of my chair:

“How much of an impact does EQ have on your professional success? The short answer is: quite a lot! It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result. We’ve tested EQ alongside 33 other important skills and found that it subsumes the majority of them, including decision-making and communication. Your EQ is the foundation for a host of critical skills - it impacts most everything you say and do each day. EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58 percent of performance in all types of jobs.”

I’ve read a few books and numerous articles over the last several years that provide answers to the question Why is Emotional Intelligence Important? When I read something suggesting that emotional intelligence, or EQ, accounts...

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