Lead Yourself First: A Journey to Personal Growth and Leadership

How Well You Lead Is Up To You

Leadership begins with you. No one else can take the reins of your personal growth and development—it’s up to you to lead yourself well. In 2001, my husband Wes and I embarked on a journey to understand leadership and personal growth. As newlyweds juggling family and careers, we quickly realized that to thrive, we needed to invest in ourselves. That decision set the course for a life-changing path of learning, reflection, and action. Here’s what we’ve learned about leading ourselves well and why it matters.

The Spark of Self-Leadership

From the very first leadership book we read, one truth stood out: to lead others effectively, you must first lead yourself. This realization hit hard in those early years. As we poured ourselves into our careers, we noticed a pattern: solving problems often led to new responsibilities. When we proposed solutions, we were tasked with implementing them. But we also saw that not every leader welcomed solutions. Some preferred to ignore problems, blame customers, or sweep issues under the rug, creating toxic cultures that drove away talent and eroded trust. It became clear that true leadership starts with personal accountability and a commitment to growth.

Key Lessons for Leading Yourself

Through books, conferences, and mentors, we uncovered principles that shaped our approach to self-leadership. Here are some of the most impactful lessons we learned early on:

• Your Thinking Shapes Your Direction
  As Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” To create positive change, you must think differently. Your mindset determines your trajectory, so challenge old patterns and embrace new perspectives.
• Create a System of Development
  Growth doesn’t happen by accident. Find or create a system—whether it’s reading, attending workshops, or joining a community of learners—that supports consistent development. (Check out our Leading at the Next Level community!)
• Consistency Trumps Events
  A single conference or book can inspire, but consistent effort is what drives real growth. Small, daily actions compound over time to transform who you are and how you lead.
• Application Is Everything
  Knowledge without action is just information. Apply what you learn to become better, not just smarter.
• Be a River, Not a Reservoir
  Share what you learn with others. Leadership isn’t about hoarding knowledge—it’s about passing it on to create a ripple effect.
• Reflect and Refine
  Regular reflection helps you assess your progress, identify areas for growth, and commit to the steps needed to move forward.

Our Journey 

As newlyweds, Wes and I faced the demands of family and growing careers. The more we applied ourselves at work, the more responsibilities we gained. While some leaders embraced our problem-solving, others resisted change, creating frustration and dysfunction. During this time, we were fortunate to discover leadership development. The idea that leadership starts with leading ourselves was a revelation. Hungry to learn, we dove into books, cassette tapes (yes, it was the early 2000s!), and conversations with other leaders. These resources opened our eyes to what was possible.

Take Responsibility for Your Growth

Here’s the truth: no one else is responsible for your development. If your current role doesn’t offer leadership training, you have options. Back in 2001, we sought out books from libraries, attended conferences, and connected with mentors. Today, the possibilities are endless—podcasts, webinars, online courses, and more are at your fingertips. You don’t need a big budget or a formal program to grow; you just need the commitment to start. There’s no excuse not to invest in yourself. Don't miss our Leading at the Next Level Podcast! Available on all major platforms. 

The Unexpected Path to Success

Did our journey unfold as we planned? Not even close—and I’m grateful for that. Through challenges and triumphs, the decision to lead ourselves well every day has taken us further than we ever imagined. Success, for us, isn’t just about financial rewards (though those often follow). It’s about the growth of people—starting with ourselves. When you commit to self-leadership, you unlock potential you didn’t know you had, and you inspire others to do the same.

Conclusion

Leading yourself well is the foundation of all leadership. It’s a daily choice to grow, reflect, and apply what you learn. Whether you’re just starting out or navigating new responsibilities, the journey begins with you. Take the first step today—read a book, listen to a podcast, or connect with a mentor. Your future self, and those you lead, will thank you.

What’s one step you can take today to lead yourself better? Share your thoughts or commit to an action in the comments below. Let’s inspire each other to grow!

by Cindy Dove