Most of the development I offered each, whether they were across the country or in the same building, was based far more on analyzing the things I saw them do (their behavior) than on what they shared with me. As powerful as studying behavior is, it requires time; time that can be saved when we’re willing to listen deeply. My immediate supervisor for more than a decade was an outstanding example of this. That said, he used that skill in a specific way that earned my trust immediately so we’ll look at that in more detail soon. For our purposes now, I’ll provide a more recent example. I shared earlier how much value I’ve gained through my relationship with Chris Rollins since the initial onboarding process with Maxwell Leadership in the spring of 2015.

In just our very first interaction, I experienced the feeling of being heard. His role at that point was to help me identify what I would focus on and how I’d then use the training that program offered. We connected immediately, both of us were very fast-paced and task-oriented, and we both enjoyed having some fun in the process - as long as there was forward progress! But the thing that caught my attention was how intentional he was in genuinely listening to how I responded to his questions. While most of the onboarding process was scripted - 15,000 others worldwide had gone through some version of it at that point - it was clear that Chris was actively listening to me and the few others participating in that series of calls he hosted.

Fast forward more than a decade, Chris and I have developed a strong professional and personal relationship, built on the foundation of how he actively listened early on and was able to help me identify a path for reaching my potential. Since then, he’s been the primary mentor for how Cindy and I have been able to build tools based on the DISC Model of Human Behavior into nearly every lesson we write or keynote presentation we deliver. Even as an extremely high D (DRIVEN behavioral style), Chris provided a tremendous example of how active listening can be practiced in order to unlock others’ potential and enhance their leadership ability. Had I known how to do that same thing years earlier, I’m confident that I could have had an even greater impact on the folks I worked with in behavior-based safety - and faster!

Before circling back to how my long-time supervisor’s active listening earned my complete trust so quickly, I’ll challenge you to find an opportunity to practice active listening in one conversation today. As you do that, be sure to summarize the points that person has shared with you to ensure understanding. Then let me know how much more influence that helps you earn with them…

Celebrating Growth to Build Trust

As we worked through the process of investing in mentorship for exponential returns, I made a brief reference to how long-time supervisor, Kevin Arnold (no, not from The Wonder Years; he heard that shit all the time…) was always so quick to me praise for successes he and I achieved together - even when he was responsible for providing all the knowledge involved. By actively listening to how I responded to each question he asked me from the first day I reported to him - be that about my personal and professional goals, my hobbies, or any other topic that came up - he learned what made me tick. He used all that I shared with him to do everything he could to help me reach my potential, and he demonstrated early on that his support wasn’t limited to me being successful just as long as I was working for him. Just in case you forgot, this is the same person who suggested that I interview for a position outside the company annually so I’d be prepared for my next opportunity…

Regardless of how much I deserved it on any given day, Kevin never called me out on focusing more on the tasks at hand than the people we were serving. He did, however, look for every opportunity to celebrate our wins, typically passing almost all the credit on to me. He didn’t do that to feed my ego, he realized individual recognition didn’t get me going. He did it to praise the work I had done because he knew how much effort I was willing to put in to achieve those results. On July 22, 2008, our facility was approved to be recognized as an OSHA Voluntary Protection Program Star Worksite, one of less than 50 in Virginia - out of nearly 10,000 that were eligible. I remember the specific date because it was also the day my first grandson was born. I also remember how much praise Kevin gave me in front of our local management team and the corporate executives in the room at the time. One of the hats I wore at the time was that of site “VPP Coordinator” but it was more of a box to check; I was still primarily in the behavior-based safety role and worked closely with Kevin on each step of the process.

I realize this is just one example, and I’m very aware that you likely don’t understand most of what was involved; neither matters. What I want you to take away from this is how his active listening helped him unlock potential I didn’t know I had and how celebrating my growth (by way of results) earned a level of trust that allowed me to receive every mentorship conversation better than I would have otherwise. Celebrating wins fosters a culture of growth and trust. That said, Kevin was incredibly patient with me too. But before we look at how that patience helped navigate the many times I pushed back on even the best guidance, I’ll challenge you to look for ways you can acknowledge (and celebrate) a team member’s achievement.

Navigating Resistance with Patience

I reported to Kevin for longer than any other supervisor I’ve ever had (not counting Cindy). Praise God he was so patient! I was just shy of 25 years old when I accepted the role working directly with him (as I mentioned before, he was very intentional about never making me feel like I worked for him). In addition to that strong work ethic I’ve mentioned several times already, I had started to develop a unique skill set that usually served me well. However, one weakness I had then was a glaring lack of patience. As impactful as he was in celebrating my wins and supporting my overall growth, his patience with me when I so often insisted on getting results through sheer force has been a lesson that serves me to this day.

I can remember hundreds of times where one of us would talk with a supervisor or manager about a safety issue that needed their attention, only to circle back afterward and find that nothing had been done. Nearly every time, I’d be ready to take them behind the proverbial woodshed and he would calmly talk me down to keep me from acting on a stupid impulse. Kevin never accepted excuses for the lack of follow up on those issues, he was just more tactful in how he approached it - and his method got results. He showed me something Cindy still reminds me of daily: everything doesn’t need to be a fight.

I can’t count the number of times I heard Terry emphasize that the real power behind the behavior-based safety methodology was gentle pressure relentlessly applied; navigating resistance with patience - consistently… How he and Kevin relentlessly applied that gentle pressure with me served as mentorship for overcoming some huge barriers, in my professional growth as well as in the work we did together, and that has truly enhanced my effectiveness as a leader. It also provided me with a picture of what it looks like to foster a mentorship culture. Before we dig into that, I’ll challenge you to find an opportunity where you can practice patience by offering supportive action to a colleague who’s navigating resistance of some sort in their role.