Turning Relationships into Measurable Leadership Growth

Every important relationship requires a strategic investment and when that investment is made in building authentic mentorship, whether we’re receiving it or giving it, the return will be exponential, especially when we’ve developed a high level of emotional intelligence. For more than three decades, I’ve been blessed with opportunities to interact with and learn from incredible people. While those relationships have helped me grow in every area of my life, the most tangible growth that’s had the farthest reaching impact has come from the mentors who have played an active role in helping me recognize what genuine leadership looks like and how I could work to build that skill set daily.

The mentors I’ve mentioned to this point have been invaluable to me, not just because they provided me with an example I could emulate or with feedback on how I could improve a specific skill. The best mentorship I’ve ever received has come through longstanding relationships where the individual involved was just as clear on the goals I was working toward as I was. Make no mistake, we should each do everything in our power to learn from everyone we can and from every situation we’re faced with. That said, intentional conversation with a close mentor where we set specific and measurable targets for what we want to achieve ensures we’ve both got clarity for any alliance feedback that follows.

I can remember my first conversation with Chris Rollins in May 2015. I had just started the licensing process with Maxwell Leadership but had no real idea what I’d do with it or what my professional future would hold. Only a few months before that, I had started a position with a new company for the first time since I was 19 years old - nearly 19 years prior. I truly thought I’d be with that company at least as long, and possibly until I retired. I was only pursuing the certification with Maxwell Leadership because I had learned so much from John Maxwell’s work and I hoped to pass some of those lessons along in my spare time. Through my first few conversations with Chris, as he guided me through the organization’s onboarding process, he challenged me to think deeper about the impact I was hoping to make than I ever would have on my own. 

Early on, Chris had me list very specific goals for where I wanted to be in my personal and professional life five, ten, and fifteen years later. I don’t remember much about the specifics, although I could likely find the legal pad with those notes if I dug deep enough in my office, but I can say with certainty that what Cindy and I do now - more than a decade later - has wildly surpassed anything I imagined back then. I don’t share that to boast; we’ve worked far harder and fought through obstacles that likely would have prevented me from even putting pen to paper had I pictured them back then. I share it because without having that initial clarity about the difference we could make, I don’t think the path we would have been on would resemble the one we’re on today.

While the mentoring relationship I’ve built with Chris since has grown far beyond the scope of that initial onboard process, it has been crucial in driving our overall leadership success through clear goals and action steps, and guidance in so many areas I had never been exposed to. This relationship didn’t take the place of any of my previous mentors, it built on all that I had learned from them. This new mentorship relationship did more than inspire me to chase goals I had never considered, it delivered measurable results. But just starting the relationship wouldn’t have yielded long-term ROI; I had to work to sustain the relationship.

Sustaining Relationships for Long-Term ROI

One common thread with each of the amazing mentors I’ve interacted with to this point in my life has been that all of them have juggled incredibly busy schedules. I’m always amazed at how they’re all willing to block time to provide mentorship insight routinely - especially when they’ve seen their previous guidance put into practice and make a positive impact. Even then, though, I’ve rarely seen any of those mentors be the one to initiate the process. To build each of those relationships to a point where I recognized measurable leadership growth, I saw sustaining the relationship as my sole responsibility. In The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John Maxwell shared, “The sooner you make the transition to becoming intentional about your personal growth, the better it will be for you, because growth compounds and accelerates IF you remain intentional about it.” We can also achieve that compounding growth by sustaining great relationships with each of our mentors!

While I have less direct time with Terry, Rod, and Kevin today than I had in previous years, the value of each interaction is exponentially greater because of the foundation established more than twenty years ago. And albeit occasional, I’m still intentional about reaching out to each of them just to check in. While the questions I pose for them are less frequent now than before, I want to make sure our connection never diminishes. Not only has each of them helped shape my career, I know I can always count on them for input when I need it.

Since my first interaction with Chris Rollins over a decade ago, I’ve been just as intentional about cultivating our relationship. We initially connected on similar industry experience and nearly identical communication styles (both being very DRIVEN). Chris and his wife had been in business together for several years at that point, and they provided some of the same service to their clients that Cindy and I hoped to deliver for ours. I got a ton of value every time I talked with him, but I wanted to be sure I did all I could to reciprocate. We should all work to provide as much value as we receive, and that’s even more crucial when the person we’re receiving from is in business for themselves; there’s never a shortage of tasks a business owner needs to accomplish and not nearly enough of them fall into the “billable hours” category…

To be sure we’re sustaining the relationships with our mentors for long-term return on investment, here are some things we should never leave to chance:

• Schedule time for routine check-ins; don’t just assume they’ll happen
• Regardless of our role in the relationship, mentor or mentee, work to deliver value without expectation
• Be intentional about showing (and saying) how much we appreciate the time the other person is investing into us
• Document ideas. While something may not take shape immediately, great ideas from our mentors have a way of materializing over time
• Actively work to show our mentors how we’re putting their guidance into practice
• Continually develop our emotional intelligence to get the most from the mentoring relationship, and to pass what we learn on to others

As each of these become routine in the relationships we build with our mentors, we’ll never have any issue seeing to long-term return on investment. As we work to pay it forward, we may just be fortunate enough to see the trickle-down transform entire organizations.

How Relationships Have an Ongoing Impact on Transforming Organizations

When we’re intentional about building each of those steps into sustaining the relationships we build with our mentors, the long-term return will compound - in our lives, in the organizations we’re part of, and in ways we likely won’t see for years to come. Terry, Rod, and Kevin have all actively mentored since the early 2000s. During our time working together directly, the facility we worked at achieved several significant milestones: a tremendous reduction in injury rate, lower worker’s compensation costs, higher morale throughout the workforce, and recognition as one of the best safety programs in our company and throughout Virginia. Just as importantly as any of those things was the growth we saw in so many other team members who were involved in those initiatives with us. From 2000 to 2010, the improvement in the overall safety culture at that location left little to be desired.

Early in this look at why relationships are key to unlocking our potential, I share a comment I’m told nearly every time I talk with my friend, Mark: “You’ll never know this side of Heaven how many people you’ve impacted.” I can say without hesitation that, through the mentorship Terry, Rod, and Kevin provided, I had a hand in improving the working lives of dozens of people. And with the support of those people, we made a positive difference for hundreds of others there, as well as their immediate families. By having access to mentors, I had opportunities I likely would have never had otherwise. By implementing the input they offered, we - as a team - drove remarkable results for our organizations. And through the team members I had the privilege of passing those lessons onto, our work laid a foundation that yielded results for years after Terry, Rod, Kevin, and I had all moved on to other roles.

I could detail just as many successes I’ve seen, personally and with the organizations I’ve had the opportunity to support in some way, all of which being a direct result of the mentorship provided to me. While that has certainly been crucial for me, the most exciting part has been seeing how each of the mentoring relationships we nurture can (and do) have an ongoing impact - on other individuals, on teams, and for entire organizations. Although I’ve only listed a few here, I could easily include over a dozen more mentors who have sown into my life and career so that I had the tools necessary to intentionally develop others. Without Terry, Rod, or Kevin guiding me through my first few professional positions, or Chris filling such a critical spot for me since going into business for myself, I’m confident that any success would have been limited. And I’m equally certain that the people I’ve had the opportunity to mentor along the way would have had far less to gain.

To close this look at maximizing the return on our investment in relationships, I’ll challenge you to take inventory of the people you’ve been able to count on for the kind of mentorship you need to grow in your own role(s). What have you done to invest in the sustainability of those relationships? How have you shown appreciation and worked to add value for what they provide? What steps do you actively take to apply the lessons your mentors have shared? And where can you look for the mentorship you’ll need to move forward? As you work to display the answers to each of these through your behavior, each relationship will deepen. But none of it will happen by accident, you’ll need to be incredibly intentional. When you’ve developed systems (and habits) for each of these, you’ll have countless opportunities to pay it forward. Developing others is the path to leadership - so we’ll dig into that soon.