Handling Pressure & Responding Calmly

The art of responsiveness requires listening (to build a foundation so we can adapt our response to our team’s needs) and investing in each responsive relationship (to give or receive mentorship), but quick decisions under pressure can sacrifice the influence we’ve worked so hard to earn - if we’re unable to respond calmly.

When Cindy and I met, she worked in the radiology department at our local hospital. One of the radiologists was usually a wonderful person to work around; bringing donuts, buying the entire team lunch, and often giving gifts to various members of the team. (Some gifts were a bit extravagant, but that’s an entirely different story…) On occasion, though, stress mounted and stuff hit the fan! In sharing the example in our lesson, Cindy paints a picture of a long hallway, all white, with patients lining each side. The frazzled radiologist bursts out, screaming obscenities and throws a folder full of x-rays down the hall - through the patients and their families. While not a daily occurrence, it certainly wasn’t something that happened only once.

Her point in sharing the story is that the radiologist did not effectively practice self-management - the second component of emotional intelligence. What I want you to consider here are the supervisor or managers you’ve interacted with over the years who responded similarly when they were under stress - even if what they were throwing wasn’t large files of x-rays. Assuming they were the least bit responsive, how did that impact your willingness to approach them, especially if you recognized the pressure they were dealing with? I realize there are times where we have no choice but to interact with someone like this, but I also know we avoid them at all cost when there is an option.

With each of those examples in mind, which would you prefer receiving a response from? Which would you seek mentorship from? And which do you believe would be more genuine in investing in responsive relationships? Now, which one would your team members compare you with? Calmness under pressure enhances responsive leadership! Before we look at how we can work to sustain responsive habits, I’ll challenge you to practice responding calmly in a high-pressure situation; if anyone counts on you for leadership, I’m sure you’ll experience one of those situations soon enough.

Sustaining Responsive Habits

In chapter three of The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell defines “The Law of Process” by saying “Leadership develops daily, not in a day.” The art of responsiveness follows the same process. Listening just when we can spare the time won’t cut it. Providing a timely reply on occasion isn’t enough. The investment in responsive relationships will be ongoing, especially if we hope to give or receive meaningful mentorship. And refraining from throwing our file folder down the hallway tomorrow is a solid starting point, but we can’t drop the ball the next day. Sustaining responsive habits is critical for any of these steps to take root.

Through Emerging Leader Development, Leading At The Next Level, and other various programs we’ve created, Cindy and I have written more than 200 hours of curriculum to date. Every single one, whether we deliver it in person or as part of one of our digital course offerings, closes with a specific call to action: identify ONE thing you pulled from the lesson that you can take action on immediately. But we don’t stop there. The final question in each “assessment” asks the participant to identify three additional steps they can put in place over time that will help them sustain that initial action step.

Responding quickly today is great, but has little lasting effect if we don’t do it over and over again. Unresponsive relationships don’t yield mentorship. Responding calmly the last time we were under tremendous pressure but blowing our top the time leaves our team wondering which version to expect on any given day. Regular responsiveness, intentionally adapted to our team’s needs and provided with extreme consistency, builds lasting leadership credibility.

One thing Cindy and I have seen over and over in organizations where the client-facing team members aren’t responsive is that this starts at the top. To quote John Maxwell once more, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” To leave a responsive legacy throughout our organization and across the communities we serve, we have to set the example. We’ll tie this together by working through that next. Right now, though, I’ll challenge you to do a self analysis on your responsive habits; are you sustaining your best intentions? If you identify opportunities for improvement, is there a system you can put in place to build the necessary habits? The right systems allow us to be more effective - even under extreme pressure.

Leaving a Responsive Legacy

Think back to what I shared as we started this look at the art of responsiveness, specifically from Dan Pink’s book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, where he shared:

“Email response time is the single best predictor of whether employees are satisfied with their boss, according to research by Duncan Watts, a Columbia University sociologist who is now a principal researcher for Microsoft Research. The longer it takes for a boss to respond to their emails, the less satisfied people are with their leader.”

Here’s the kicker with both of the organizations my friends left: nearly everyone we’ve interacted with in each since do not practice responsive habits. I’ll repeat this once more for emphasis… I’m intentionally not sharing more about either because this is definitely not limited to those two companies. I can’t point to a business that I’ve dealt with over the last thirty years where the folks dealing directly with the public weren’t responsive but the executives were, at least not over the long haul. I’ve certainly seen exceptions, some where individuals were slow to respond but the leaders stayed on top of things and some where you could count on an immediate response from the front-line team member but rarely heard back from the executive. In either case, the mismatches were short lived. People do what people see. Like begets like. Call it what you want, everything always rises and falls on leadership.

To earn lasting influence with our teams, especially to a point where they can trust us to make quick decisions in the toughest situations, they’ll need to know they’re cared for. And when they feel cared for, that care carries over to what their customer experiences - even if that customer is the next team member downstream.

Throughout this look at leveraging leadership growth, we’ve wrapped up each segment with a reference to trust, legacy, or a combination of the two. The same holds true here. By listening intently so we can adapt to our team’s needs and provide the correct response quickly, we’re making a sound investment into those relationships. Through responsive relationships, any mentorship offered is more likely to be welcomed - regardless of which side of the equation we’re on. As we build habits to sustain this level of responsiveness, even if that initially requires us to create systems to support those new behaviors, we provide an example for everyone we interact with; one that leaves a responsive legacy and inspires future leaders. I’ve certainly experienced this in my life, and I’ll bet you have too. We’ll never invest the time necessary for any of this, though, unless we genuinely value others and we’re dedicated to being available. We’ll work through that next. Until then, I’ll challenge you to consider any scenarios where you’ve dropped the ball or left someone hanging. How can you respond to that past request with renewed effort?