Finding Strength in Modesty

Cindy and I recently adopted two (more) rescue dogs. We’ve had dogs since we got married, all of which have been rescues for the last fifteen years. The one that has been our most heartwarming success story to date had been dealing with several health issues and we had to put him down. As tough as that always is, we were incredibly thankful for the life we were able to provide for him over the seven years since rescuing him from a puppy mill. While I knew we’d be getting another dog soon, I asked Cindy to hold off until after our first LeadershipLegacy Experience as that was the largest event we had ever hosted and it required a ton of time. Soon after, though, she found another dog to rescue - and one more for good measure. Both had been bounced around, with families taking them then bringing them back to their respective shelters just days later. They needed us, and we needed them (but that’s another story for another time).

Teddy was listed as a three year-old poodle mix. Although there appears to be a bit of poodle in the mix, there’s a lot of other stuff in there too; Pug, Terrier, and God knows what else. There’s no way he’s three years old, he’s maybe 18 months at the most and the most playful dog we’ve ever had. Oh, and we’re pretty sure he had never been groomed. He was a hell of a looking thing. With his exaggerated Pug underbite and that wild hair, I thought he looked like a hyena. He chewed on everything within reach, including us, but we’ve since reeled that in.

Fancy is a beautiful standard Poodle (who happened to have purple hair when we brought her home). She’s absolutely majestic and without a doubt the most reserved dog I’ve ever been around. She warmed up to Cindy in just the first few days she was with us but it’s taken longer for her to get used to me, leading us to believe that a man had been mean to her at some point; there’s a special place in Hell for people who mistreat animals, but that’s a story for another time too.

Soon after Teddy and Fancy joined our family, I shared the details of both with a friend. Teddy being wide open and rough looking. Fancy being so pretty yet so quiet. His immediate response was: “Oh, just like you and Cindy!” and he was spot-on!

I share that because it sets up the best example of finding strength in modesty that I’ve ever seen. Not only has Cindy been instrumental in helping me overcome so many of my self-imposed limits, she’s been my benchmark for what a modest, yet confident and strong, leader looks like. After delivering an Emerging Leader Development course for a group of supervisors and managers with a large manufacturing company a few years ago, a lifelong friend who reported to one of those supervisors shared a comment they made to him. His supervisor mentioned how much he enjoyed the time with us both, then went on to say how genuine and classy Cindy seemed. I absolutely loved it! I felt like my interaction with his supervisor was great, I was thrilled that he felt how warm, sincere, and approachable Cindy truly is - all while maintaining a kind confidence like I’ve rarely seen in anyone else. Because she recognized her worth well before I saw my own, she was quicker to embrace her distinct voice - effectively balancing confidence and humility like we worked through earlier - but she has certainly worked extremely hard to do all that.

Interestingly enough, I’ve seen more than a few weak and insecure people who have replied solely on the power of their positional authority do everything they possibly could to avoid interacting with Cindy; not because she said or did anything that put them off, but because her kind but confident posture absolutely intimidated them. To put it into perspective, and to be as transparent as I’m capable of being, I have a long way to go to model that same kind of modesty. I love earning strong connections with the great people we get to speak with and provide training for, but I still find a little bit of joy in stepping on someone’s toes if they’re willing to be mean to others around them - especially if that’s based on the power they think they have because of a title.

All said, seeing how Cindy has found so much strength in that modesty, and how the confidence she’s built fosters respectful connections stretches me everyday. As we each build those connections, it allows us to begin measuring the impact we’re having and serves as validation for the hidden strengths we’ve uncovered along the way. Before we look more at that, I’ll challenge you to consider how you can work to exemplify modesty in your own role while maintaining a health balance confidence and humility.