Not many days go by where I don’t get an email or see an ad promoting the latest and greatest approach improving communication skills in the workplace. For that matter, I’m contacted directly at least once each week by someone offering to sell me some sort of fancy software or training module that will change my business. While some of it is truly interesting, I’m absolutely convinced that there’s just no substitute for simple and practical. Having studied just about anything I’ve been able to get my hands on around the topic of communication skills for over two decades, I’ve found that fancy and pretty don’t matter when it’s too complicated to take action on!

Moving forward here, I’ll touch a few quick tips that can make an immediate difference in any setting and can be applied right away. If you’re hoping for something mystical or eloquent, don’t hold your breath. But if you’d like some basics that get results, I believe you’ll get them!

During the decade or so I was training people across North America on the principles of behavior-based safety, I studied a lot of different approaches to communicating more effectively. Not only did the way I communicated play a critical role in whether or not the training I was providing had any tangible impact, communication would be a large factor in the results each person achieved as they applied that training after I left their facility. Tradition safety compliance is often based on rules and regulations, typically backed by various types of disciplinary action when you’re caught violating those rules. The key to that having any lasting impact usually boils down to whether or not we get caught… Think about it, how many times have you had the cruise control set higher than the speed limit and immediately tapped the brakes when you saw blue lights ahead - even if those lights were stopped along the road on the opposite side of the interstate? Without the potential of being caught, we’re nearly always willing to push the boundaries just a bit!

The behavior-based safety model I trained on took an entirely different approach; we focused on explaining the potential hazard the team member was exposed to when they did certain things, we challenged them to identify alternative ways to perform the tasks while reducing or completely eliminating the risk of injury, and we sought agreement from them to modify their behavior to implement their potential solution moving forward. Since all of this was done on a confidential basis, with no potential for discipline regardless of what they did during that interaction, being able to effectively communicate what we saw as a potential hazard was the cornerstone of what we did!

In addition to all the books I was reading (or listening to as I drove or flew around the country), I took what seemed like dozens of assessments that were touted as being the best thing since sliced bread when it came to helping someone communicate more effectively. I can’t think of a single one that I didn’t find fascinating! But I also can’t think of any that I was ever able to figure out how to apply - until 2015 when I started learning more about that DISC thing John mentioned in his book several years earlier. The more I studied it, the more excited I got about it! It was truly the first tool I had ever seen that gave me a foundation for actually applying the concepts!

Over the last twenty or so years, I’ve read hundreds of books on leadership and communication. I’d guess I’ve also listened to tens of thousands of hours of audio books and lessons on those same topics. The one thing I’ve realized through all that, which really applies to any other area of life too, has been that even the simplest thing we take action on ALWAYS yields better results than a brilliant plan that’s never implemented because it’s so complicated. Now that I think about, simplicity and action is likely what earned us the invitation to contribute to Discover Your Team’s Potential…?

Now let’s dig into what I believe are the most powerful pieces of what I’ve come to know as the DISC Model of Human Behavior - and these are things that are incredibly easy to understand, easy to recognize in the individuals we’re communicating with, and simple to apply on a daily basis. Just think about how much more we could all get accomplished if everything worked that way!

Who’s Setting the Pace?

Let’s start by working through the one that we can almost always SEE within the first few seconds we’re around someone, even if we’ve never interacted with them before.

We’re all wired a certain way right out of the factory. In most cases, we can begin to tell whether a child is more Outgoing or more Reserved by the time they’re two or three years old. There are certainly some times where this isn’t just glaringly obvious and there will be some situations that cause each of us to respond differently than we normally would. But in the vast majority of the scenarios we each face on a daily basis, we’ll be able to quickly determine what we’re dealing with, especially when we’re comparing what we see with the other person with ourselves…

Please understand here though, this isn’t a matter of Introvert/Extrovert. This is all about the pace in which we act on things. When Cindy and I teach this in group settings, we share an example of cars; the more Outgoing folks tend to resemble a 60’s muscle car with revved up engine while the more Reserved folks are more similar to a high-end Lexus or even an electric Tesla (not the band - which I actually like a lot more!) where we can barely tell if they’re actually running…

Regardless of where we may consider ourselves to fall within that spectrum, we should still be able to get a quick read on where the person we’re interacting with is in comparison to us. I’ve heard sales consultants suggest that it’s important to stay in control of a conversation by being the one who asks all the questions. Whatever… If we really want to develop effective communication skills in the workplace, we’d do far better practice The Platinum Rule I often reference than to attempt to maintain control!

When it comes to pace, we’re much more likely to communicate effectively when we slow down or speed up our approach to match the individual we’re interacting with. When I share a new idea with Cindy, because I typically approach everything at 100mph with my hair on fire, things go so much smoother when I slow down and give her time to process the information rather than dumping everything on her at once and hoping she keeps up. When she brings something to me, she has started giving me the big picture right away, and fast, then adding the details as I ask for them. She knows I’ll get bored and move on to something else otherwise.

This simple practice of setting the pace of our own approach based on what we’re seeing from the person we’re communicating with can make a significant impact on how effective we are in getting our message through! And while this can make a huge difference, messing it up every now and then isn’t all that big a deal. If I neglect to slow down so Cindy has time to process everything I rattle off, it may suck a lot of energy out of her but it will rarely offend her. However, applying one more thing can actually help us each avoid between 80 & 90% of the major disagreements that are often the toughest to ever overcome!

A Simple Change of Focus

If we really want to build a culture of effective communication skills in the workplace, we may need to make a simple change in what we focus on… We live in a world of constant pressure to perform and achieve results. Truth be told, I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing! I believe that’s how we build a strong self image and earn a fair wage. The challenge that comes with that lies in how this can impact our approach to so many of the most critical conversations we have with the people around us - the people we work with AND the people we’re responsible for leading!

When we adapt the pace we use to match the other person, we’ve made a big step toward putting together a message they can more easily receive. But depending on what we’re focused on, our pace may only play a small part in the overall result!

I don’t remember where I first heard it, but I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told how important it is that we place a high value on the people we’re working with. Heck, Advance Auto Parts used to even have a slogan stating that their best parts WERE their people… OK, I get it; we need to be nice. But darn it, we need to get work done too don’t we?

Have you ever heard someone say that “people do business with the people they know, like, and trust”? I’ve heard that hundreds of times. And nearly every time my first thought was about how I often struggle to ever like someone I don’t trust. Then I’d have this internal conflict about how I should be nicer and be more tolerant of the person whether I trusted them or not. That usually just left me confused…

Now let’s push all those catchy phrases and buzzwords aside to get to the task at hand: an intentional focus on the people we’re interacting with!

The most powerful and the most applicable thing I’ve learned through studying the DISC Model of Human Behavior has been just how much our focus in any individual interaction impacts how effective our communication is as well as how we built strong, long term relationships. With a nearly constant push to check things off our lists, especially as we take on more and more leadership responsibility, we can feel significant pressure to get straight to the point when we’re communicating so we make the absolute best possible use of the time; blunt, candid, and on with the show…

For the 35% or so of us who are more Task-Oriented, that can be music to our ears. But for two out of every three people we deal with on any given day who are more People-Oriented, this can send a far different message than we likely mean to. Statistically, between 80 & 90% of all major disagreements occur when a Task-Oriented person (like me) jumps right into the meat of a conversation without providing the People-Oriented person (like my daughter) with even the slightest sign of how much we value them. While the Task-Oriented person gets a sense of fulfillment by simply checking things off a list as being done, the more People-Oriented folks - which make up the majority of the world - view the tasks they perform as a way they can help or be around people.

That small difference in focus is critical! When we invest the time and energy into showing value to the individual we’re communicating with before hammering out the details of what needs to be done, we build a stronger relationship. If we skip that step, and I still do more than I care to admit, we send a message that the task at hand is more important than their individual contribution (whether we intend to or not!).

Unlike being able to see the Outgoing or Reserved pace almost immediately, we’ll usually have to pay close attention to the words they’re using and their body language to determine whether they’re more focused on the task at hand or the people involved in that task. If we’re just not sure, it’s always a safe bet to focus on the person first before moving to the task. Odds are that we’ll be right two-thirds of the time! And even when we’re not, the more Task-Oriented folks may get impatient for us to get down to business (which is fairly easy to see) but they’ll rarely get offended. With just a simple change in focus, we can build so much more effective communication into our workplace culture. And if we want to see even better results, digging deeper into applying The Model of Human Behavior throughout our teams can provide better results than I’ve seen from any other approach!