Why Bad Situations Are Leadership’s Best Teacher

Five miles or so from where Cindy and I have lived since we got married, there's a giant oak tree by a sharp turn on a gravel road that could have spelled my demise had I been two feet farther to the right. It was 1995 and I was on my way to meet some friends to engage in a variety of inappropriate shenanigans. Thankfully, I wasn’t drinking - yet - or the results may have been far different. Quite honestly, the fact that I was sober may be the only reason I still have such a vivid memory of that specific situation.

As I think about it more than thirty years later, I could list dozens of scenarios prior to that and hundreds (possibly thousands) since that were far from ideal. Any one of those going just a little bit differently could have taken me on a wildly different journey. That said, I realize today that the way I chose to respond to each had at least as much impact.

For more than twenty-five years, I’ve heard that there are two things in life that we can control: our attitude and our actions. Everything else is, at least to some degree, out of our control - and even those two things are damn tough to control for many of us! A brutal fact of life is that each of us will inevitably be dealt a bad hand. Bad situations hit everyone - financial hits, moral betrayals, family chaos, health scares. All too often, those can feel like the beginning of the end.But what if they're actually the beginning?

Pause for a second: What’s one bad situation you’re carrying right now (or something from the past) that still stings? Jot it down, we’ll come back to it soon enough. Next, we’ll look at what Napoleon Hill said about these moments. Before that, let me be very clear: I’ll be referencing some tough situations I’ve had to work through over the years as we move forward. I’m in no way looking for your sympathy or attempting to throw anyone under a bus (even the ones who deserve it). And I’m certainly not trying to suggest that my path has been harder than anyone else’s. I know I’ve been blessed far more than I’ve deserved, but I believe with every fiber of my being that much of that blessing has come as a direct result of that lesson I learned from Hill in Think and Grow Rich more than two decades ago.

The Seed That’s Always There

I’ve often heard the phrase, “Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.” As harsh as that may be, here’s some context: I could share dozens of difficult situations I fought through in my teens and early twenties, most of which were self-induced, that could have provided me with far more value had I been willing to search for the complete lesson. Even when I learned a little bit of what not to do, I won’t pretend that I pulled as much as I should have - at least not at the time. Bad situations are only leadership’s best teacher when the student is ready and willing to learn. Early on, I was that unwilling student far too often.

Having asked you to consider (and jot down) a bad situation you’ve dealt with that still stings, let’s revisit that briefly now. Simply thinking about it doesn’t teach us much. In many cases, that just upsets our apple cart all over again! In his 1937 book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill shared a powerful quote I’ve heard referenced hundreds (possibly thousands) of times over the last thirty years, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” I can’t think of a single time where I’ve heard that from a motivational speaker and didn’t feel at least some better about whatever nonsense I was fighting through in that moment. Unfortunately, that warm & fuzzy feeling didn’t last much longer than their talk.

As powerful as Hill’s statement is, I’ve rarely heard anyone provide his full context. He referenced that throughout Think and Grow Rich, then went on to explain that while the seed exists, that does not equate to automatically receiving the equal or greater benefit. Knowing that there is a seed is certainly better than not knowing. But seeds are small and can easily be missed. And even if we find it, magic doesn’t just happen on its own. Jack’s beanstalk didn’t come out of nowhere… Seeds are hidden in the dirt of failure; most people miss them because they quit, blame, or coast. Success comes from actively finding, planting, and nurturing them through reflection, persistence, and action.

Now, think back to the bad situation you jotted down. Were you able to pull a lesson from it right away? If not, do it now. Lessons from even the best teachers rarely slap us in the face. All too often, we miss them the first time around and we’re forced to repeat that lesson again - and sometimes again. I can say with complete transparency that I’m still finding the seeds from adversities I struggled through years ago. We’ll take a quick look at what we absolutely must do to have any hope of realizing that equal or greater benefit next. Until then, reflect on your bad situation to uncover every possible seed that could be hidden in it.

Building On What We’ve Learned (Hopefully)

If the only thing we ever pull from a bad situation is a story we can share in the next woe-is-me competition, at least it was good for something. Just kidding, no one wants to hear that crap. Well, almost no one. I’ve often heard that a small percentage does indeed want to hear how tough we have it - but those are the ones who are excited to know they’re not wallowing in crap by themselves; misery loves company, as long as that company is just as miserable.

To have any real shot of ever taking ownership of the “equal or greater benefit” Napoleon Hill alluded to, it’s 100% our responsibility to find the seed within it. Then we’ll have to plant it, care for it, and harvest it. None of which will ever happen by accident! We’ll work through that process step-by-step soon enough. Now, though, let’s just stick with laying a foundation for why it matters.

I’ll never pretend that I’ve had to carry the toughest of burdens or that I’ve learned as much as I possibly could have from any one of them I’ve had to fight through. Truth be told, I’ve watched plenty of people deal with far worse - often, over and over and over again. In looking closely at some of those scenarios, I’ve realized that at least part of the reason lightning seemingly struck in the same places more than once was that the person never put down the lightning rod. While I’m sure I could have learned far more from every bad situation I’ve been through (and likely sooner), I can say that I’ve worked tirelessly to identify whatever possible seed of greater benefit could be found to have a shot at realizing the equal or greater benefit somewhere down the road.

Just surviving a bad situation doesn’t equate to finding the seed, and even then we’re not guaranteed the equal or greater benefit. We absolutely have to learn everything we can from each, then build on that as we go. We’ll look at that chain of preparation next. Until then, think about your own journey. Which of these “pillars” (profitability, purpose, values, relationships) has a bad situation already strengthened for you? We’ll explore the full chain soon…