Since I won’t be able to go into nearly as much detail here, I’ll share a few specific things you should be able to recognize from each of the four primary behavioral styles William Marston outlined in The Emotions of Normal People and we’ll look at some things that cause the more emotional responses in the folks with each of those styles. I believe even a basic understanding of this can provide a strong foundation for developing our emotional intelligence, but really applying the tools we layout in customized sessions can help build a culture of emotional intelligence in the workplace!

The first of the primary styles we’ll look at represents the smallest percentage of the population; around 1 out of every 10 people. Often referred to as the DRIVEN style, this group is extremely action oriented. They tend to be the ones who take charge of situations, whether they’re asked to or not, and can come across as DIRECT or DEMANDING. While their goal isn’t always to run over everyone in their path, the DETERMINATION that shines through in nearly everything they do can often leave bystanders (or victims) with that impression.

These actions are almost always driven by their desire to produce outstanding results for the team they’re a part of and the people they care most about. They’re usually willing to carry a tremendous workload for long periods of time in order to accomplish that. However, they can feel threatened when achieving the results they’re after is out of their control. This can put more stress on them than the actual workload. And the higher the stress, the more we’ll see their behavioral traits exaggerated.

To manage our interactions with this group successfully, especially when we see them under stress, we’d do well to give them as much control of the situation as we possibly can. This doesn’t mean turning over all power to them; it can often be as simple as providing them with clear boundaries and allowing them to drive the ship as they see fit within them. Providing them with recognition of the intense effort they provide can also help in alleviating the pressure they typically put on themselves when something seems to be out of their control.

Recognition and appreciation can go a long way in managing any interaction successfully, but we’ll need to provide it in a very different way with the next style we look at...

The Difference in Recognition and Appreciation

Recognizing the tremendous amount of effort those DRIVEN folks put into nearly everything they touch provides them with the fuel they need in tough situations, but it doesn’t necessarily fill everyone’s tank…

The next two primary styles have a much heavier focus on the people they’re interacting with than the specific task at hand. We all cherish genuine recognition, but the INSPIRING and SUPPORTIVE behavioral styles would much rather know they’re valued as individuals than just for what they’re accomplishing!

Since the INSPIRING folks, typically making up around 30% of the population, enjoy being in front of a crowd, they LOVE receiving praise with a lot of people around. When they’re under a high level of stress, calling attention to their strengths where their peers can see it will often help them push through a difficult situation. But the opposite is just as true; if they feel like someone has belittled them in front of others, that person can end up being the recipient of their IRE… This INFLUENTIAL group usually has a ton of energy and moves just as fast as they talk. When the pressure is on though, they can bite off more than they’re able to chew and any anger they show can be directed right at others around them.

The 35% of the world whose primary behavioral style is more SUPPORTIVE will do anything they possibly can to SERVE the people they care about. They also thrive on knowing they’re appreciated but they tend to be a bit more SHY than their more Outgoing peers so a genuine thank you in a one on one situation will be far better than making a big deal over them in public. And since this group is much more Reserved, they rarely show high levels of stress outwardly like the other two groups we’ve looked at so far. They tend to be very even keel but don’t mistake that for thinking nothing bothers them. Unfortunately, those of us who are more Outgoing may not even recognize this group is experiencing stress until it’s already too late. This is where that social awareness Bradberry talked about is so critical! And understanding how to apply Marston’s framework for recognizing the behavioral styles, as well as the emotions that drive them, can be huge in turning that social awareness into relationship management…

Whether it’s with someone who’s extremely Fast-Paced or someone who’s far more Reserved, being intentional about showing how much we value them as individuals - be that through public recognition or individual appreciation - is something we can do to build even stronger working relationships with them in order to achieve the goals we’re working toward…

Folks with the fourth and final primary style are often the ones who make sure the entire group delivers a quality product. Let’s wrap this up by looking at how we can recognize their behaviors under stress and help manage their emotions...

Special Attention to ALL the Details

In Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry says “People who manage relationships well are able to see the benefit of connecting with many different people, even those they are not fond of. Solid relationships are something that should be sought and cherished.”

While I’ve only been aggressively studying emotional intelligence and William Marston’s work on The Model of Human Behavior for the last six years or so, I’ve intuitively understood the value solid relationships have in achieving results. I often share that I’ve never really felt like I had any real natural talent in a specific area. But realizing that communication skills could be developed and that building better relationships played a big role in that, coupled with what I have always believed to be a strong work ethic, has helped me in more ways that I could begin to hash out here. And that’s definitely not something that’s exclusive to me!

With all that in mind, let’s take a look at the fourth and final primary behavioral style so you have a full perspective on how you can best manage your interactions with others effectively and add value to them in the process!

This last group represents around 25% of the population. Like the DRIVEN folks, they’re very Task-Oriented. The difference will be in their approach to the tasks they’re engaged in… Rather than charging hell with a water pistol to get things done, this CAUTIOUS group prefers to make sure every action they take is planned out in advance in order to achieve the best possible results on the first attempt. They CONTEMPLATE how each step yields accuracy and precision. Unlike the INSPIRING and SUPPORTIVE groups, this CALCULATING group will almost always be far more focused on their work than anyone else involved in the process with them. They’re often just fine receiving no recognition at all. When we tell them we appreciate them, it means the most to them if we acknowledge the effort they’ve put into ensuring an excellent result.

A few words of caution though… These folks can feel extremely stressed if we push them to make quick decisions without providing them with the detail they need. A lot of joking around when the workload is heavy can push their buttons too! Where the DRIVEN and INSPIRING folks can tend to wear their emotions, especially the negative ones, on their sleeves, this group can often seem COLD. As with the SUPPORTIVE folks, they won’t show much reaction visibly. They’re Reserved approach is actually something I can always learn from!

When we are able to sense that they’re under a lot of stress, we can make big strides in developing our relationship with them by slowing down the pace, providing them with as much detail as we can, and giving them some additional time to process the situation. Doing this gives them what they need but it also shows that we appreciate those needs as well as the value this CONSCIENTIOUS group brings to every situation they’re involved in.

Just in case you missed the pages leading up to this, you're welcome to circle back for more on Why is Emotional Intelligence Important? and the Components of Emotional Intelligence.