Definiteness of Decision and Self-Control Emerge

Making the pivotal decision to give up drinking completely was one thing, backing it with action required far effort and commitment. I can’t point to any specific leisure activities in the decade prior to that where I didn’t consume a tremendous amount of beer. That said, I never viewed it as a problem; I had no issue with it whatsoever. In fact, I knew I was damn good at it. As with changing any kind of habit, though, it’s never as simple as making the initial decision to change. There were so many activities with such close ties to that specific behavior that I knew I’d never be able to give it up without making several other changes to the things I was doing - and who I did those things with. And much of that involved limiting (and in some cases, eliminating completely) the time I spent at certain places with close friends.

Make no mistake, this had nothing to do with them being bad people. I’m still close with many of them today. I just recognized what I was and was not capable of. This was 100% my issue, not theirs.

Just making that initial decision had little to do with definiteness though. Backing it and acting on smaller, daily decisions was how I replaced the habitual leisure drinking with different behaviors. And that was way harder! I recognized that I just couldn’t allow myself to be in situations similar to ones where I had previously jumped head first into as many beers as I could get my hands on. I chose to avoid any scenario where I knew there would be casual drinking. For me, one or two drinks to be social quickly led to twelve. On the occasions where someone broke out a six-pack when the work was done, I came up with any excuse I could think of to cut and run. For several years, I even avoided any type of off-hour scenarios with coworkers where there was the slightest chance that others would be drinking. While I was always careful to avoid the reasons I gave appearing disengaged or distant, this often created distance between me and the folks inviting me. That wasn’t my intent at all, but I knew I didn’t have the discipline (yet) to be in those situations and uphold my decision. Over time, though, my self-control grew stronger.

Burning my ships meant cutting ties to many of the activities that were so closely tied to the bad habits creating barriers between where I was and where I wanted to be. At the time, that often appeared as though I was severing relationship ties; I was not. I was very intentional in filling every minute I could with other activities that would move me closer to my goal while providing me with a legitimate (albeit often misunderstood) reason for declining invitations from the close friends or coworkers I had spent so much time with previously. 

That definiteness of decision, based on early stumbles, helped me get a handle on the “mastery of self” that Napoleon Hill emphasized in Think and Grow Rich as being essential for turning bad situations into profitable leadership traits. Eventually, even more self-control emerged - but it certainly wasn’t a big splash all at once. It was more of a quiet ripple, and we’ll look at how that began to unfold next. Until then, I’ll challenge you to take an inventory of your recent decisions and identify where you may have wavered. Identify just one way to strengthen your definiteness of decision moving forward.

The Quiet Ripple

Not long after making the decision to stop drinking completely, Ron (who I now reported directly to in my 5S implementation role) decided to step away from serving as the behavior-based safety facilitator and return to a manufacturing supervisor position. I don’t remember his reasoning but I distinctly remember being incredibly excited about the opportunity to throw my name in the hat again. This time, though, I was far more prepared for every aspect of the interview and had significant experience in nearly everything that job would require. Choosing to support Ron when he was offered the position, rather than stepping away from the process completely, provided me with the opportunity to gain experience that I would have never had otherwise.

I have no recollection of anyone else involved in the interview process. This time, there wasn’t a close second to the qualifications I had stacked up. I realize that sounds arrogant, that’s not my intent at all. I worked my butt off to build those qualifications. I was offered the position and I eagerly accepted! Not only had I grown to enjoy so much of the behavior-based safety ideology, it had become painfully evident that most of the management team would never embrace the 5S initiative in a way that the fifth S could ever happen; the SUSTAIN part… While portions of the rollout were still visible throughout the facility for years to come, it was rapidly fading away and becoming just another flavor of the month.

Once I was in the behavior-based safety facilitator role full time, I quickly learned how much I still had to learn. Although I had delivered short segments of the observer training for a couple of years leading up to that, my segments were usually never more than 45 minutes long. In this new spot, I held complete responsibility for all aspects of what had been, since it was launched within our facility in May ‘98, sixteen full hours of training. There were a few other folks in the mix, Terry being one of them, but it was on me to schedule the time and resources, identify the participants and get approval from the supervisors or managers, and ensure the content was delivered in a way they could actually have a chance of retaining it. I had also delivered a fair amount of training in the 5S role, but still nothing close to this.

Learning the importance of earning influence rather than attempting to rely on the authority I did not have while rolling out 5S was even more relevant here. At least the changes we were suggesting with 5S were visible and immediately measurable to anyone walking through the areas involved. While behavior is very visible, the reason the organization dedicated two full days to training behavior-based safety observers was that few seldom understand what to look for or take the time to do it. Not only does that require using a specific lens, it’s kind of awkward - and that’s not even considering the feedback portion of the process.

I quickly learned that my responsibility was not only to deliver sixteen hours worth of content, but to do it in a way that the folks struggling to sit through it could develop a skill set that was entirely different from what they were expected to do all day, every day. Thankfully, being very in tune with how tough it was to stay awake, let alone engaged, through two full days of classroom-style training when you’re used to a high speed manufacturing process helped me relate. I made headway gradually. I was slowly earning influence without a title; at first with my peers I’d need support from, and with our local management team over time. No big, immediate splash. Just a slow, quiet ripple.

The decision to stop drinking didn’t have a direct correlation to my work, but how I filled that time certainly helped me build more confidence and self-control. Pivoting through that decision, and the bad situations that could have easily come from continuing down my previous path, helped me build authentic trust - which earned more of the influence I’d need to grow in my new role. My consistent growth focus, albeit relatively quiet at that point, began inspiring others I’d need support from more than a title ever would have. For me at the time, that decision was one of the most pivotal things I could have done. But even small pivots can turn stumbles into strategic growth. We’ll dig into that next. Before we do, think about one of the most pivotal decisions you’ve made in your journey to this point. Share it with a colleague, and describe the positive ripples you’ve seen since.

At twenty-five years old, I had something I would have never gotten had I gone to college: hands-on experience that allowed me to relate to the people I was providing training for in that behavior-based safety process, at a level of competency that few others in the company had. Recognizing and owning the role I played in previous failures, coupled with the invaluable feedback Terry and Dennis provided after my first attempt in interviewing for the position a year prior, put me on path to develop the parallel skills I’d need to achieve results in my new role. Even then, though, admitting that my bad habits, while limited to my time off, were barriers to the progress I hoped to make.

Today, I can share with confidence that what Cindy and I have invested - out of our own pockets - would dwarf the cost of college. Since we were married, we’ve been incredibly focused on identifying and digesting every ounce of leadership development we could get our hands on. But that was just a start; knowing and applying are two wildly different things. The gradual pivots I was able to make through each adversity served as my training ground I’d need for those pivots to turn stumbles into strategic growth. Making the best of career stumbles isn’t mere recovery - its intentional preparation, transforming potential derailments into chains of leadership readiness.

Our investment was far from traditional, and much more gradual, but it has grown incrementally over more than two and a half decades. Outside looking in, I’m not sure anyone would have ever noticed. Even for us, reflection was key in identifying blind spots to make the necessary pivots and plant our earliest seeds. And then we still had to nurture them! We’ll close this look at the importance of learning to pivot next by working through some simple steps we can take to mine any stumble for our next most important move. Until then, I’ll challenge you to think back through each point you listed so far and outline how just one pivot could amplify your current leadership impact or readiness.

Mining Your Stumbles for Pivots into Strategic Growth

Through sheer work ethic, I was able to build some solid career momentum in my late teens and early twenties. Never one to pass up an opportunity simply because I didn’t have the qualifications listed as required on a job posting, I took some chances on positions that I was far from capable of - at least in the moment. Taking those chances led to some of the setbacks and stumbles we’ve just worked through. When our high hopes hit reality, we’re forced to settle for what we have or search for the seeds of greater benefit. In those cases, the only option I saw was to make some tough decisions, then pivot as needed to get where I wanted to go.

Looking back, none of those experiences seem significant now. But even those early professional setbacks and the personal changes I decided to make to support forward progress all served as fertile ground for extracting what I now see as leadership seeds. That said, each required reflection and firm decisions - much of which I didn’t commit to until years later. Even small, quiet failures can force us to confront blind spots, build definiteness of decision, and strengthen self-control - turning bad situations into foundation preparation for building the influence necessary to genuinely lead others. That leadership emerges not from avoiding stumbles but from intentionally mining them for seeds.

With that in mind, let’s consider some simple steps you can use in mining your stumbles for pivots in strategic growth. As we did in looking for our foundational seeds before, here are five questions you can work through:

1. What early career stumble still resonates or stings for you?
2. What specific blind spot or habit did it reveal, and what seed of greater benefit was hidden there?
3. How could a decisive pivot (or one you've already made) strengthen your self-control or definiteness of decision?
4. In what ways might nurturing this seed improve your ability to influence or lead others without formal authority?
5. What are three small, immediate actions you can take this week to plant and begin nurturing that seed?

Targeted reflection and action turn past bad situations into leadership gold - start building your chain now. As you answer each of these, I’ll challenge you to share at least one response with someone you’re willing to be accountable to so you can lock in commitment. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be ready to look at how some of the hidden strengths I was developing helped me balance the chaos that followed.