There’s No Such Thing as a Self-Made Leader

I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve heard folks reference different individuals - in business, in politicks, or any other walk of life - as natural-born leaders. I think the most humorous anecdote I ever heard around that idea was when John Maxwell mentioned being asked if leaders are born or made. He responded that he’s met a lot of leaders but never one that hadn’t been born. His point being that, regardless of any natural talent or ability, all leaders develop over time; no one is as good as they can be at anything from the very beginning. I’ll take that one step further by suggesting that no one reaches their individual best by themselves: There’s no such thing as a self-made leader…

In the now more than two and a half decades that Cindy and I have been married, we’ve been blessed with some incredible opportunities. If you were to challenge me to pick the one single thing that I did on my own to deserve any of those, I’d go with having a tremendous work ethic from a very young age. But I’d only mention that if you specifically included the phrase “on my own” because even the strongest work ethic would have only helped me open a select few doors - and I’ll circle back to why soon. Before that, though, I’ll emphasize something I likely didn’t even fully appreciate a few short years ago: I’m remarkably more effective in every aspect of my life today - personal and professional - because of the relationships I’ve developed with friends, mentors, and peers. Before you blow off that statement because you know just how limited my skills are, I’m going to risk stepping on your toes by stressing that the same is just as true for you - and for everyone else on this ball of mud!

From my early teens, most of the folks I hung out with were several years old than me. In some cases, that was because I started working at such a young age and the majority everyone I worked with had been in their roles for a while. Outside of work, though, it was often because those older friends could buy things for me that I couldn’t go into a store and buy myself. Being the youngest, and usually the smallest with the least amount of experience, I did all I could to compensate by attempting to out work everyone I could. Even when I couldn’t keep up, I was able to earn a reasonable amount of respect from the folks around me. That said, the larger the group or company I became a part of, the harder it became to stand out on work ethic alone.

In May 2000, the day I returned to work after our honeymoon, I started in my first role where it was no longer about how hard I could work or how many tasks I could juggle on my own. Interestingly enough, the work ethic that I had developed through the jobs I held in the decade leading up to that was one of the determining factors in me being offered this new position. However, I quickly learned that it would not be solely responsible for any success I achieved in that new role - and it’s only played a small part in each role I’ve held since. Within weeks of starting in that position, I had gotten a glimpse of the reality that no leader succeeds alone; relationships are the bridge to achieving anything worthwhile, let alone anything great. I quickly found myself in a spot where I was expected to produce measurable results through dozens of co-workers, most of whom had been with the company longer than I had been alive, and I had ZERO positional authority. And in case that was a steep enough hill to climb, most of the their supervisors were at least mildly annoyed with the time and resources I needed from their teams and in their areas of responsibility. That’s where I learned the difference between management and leadership. It’s also where I started learning how important it is to find professional mentors and build relationships with peers. Had it not been for those two things, my new role would have been short lived and I likely would have found myself swinging a hammer again to keep food on the table, so we’ll pick up there next time.