Define Your Reality: The First (and Most Important) Step of the LEAD Framework
Apr 01, 2026
By Cindy Dove, Dove Development & Consulting
As a leader, your very first job isn’t to motivate, strategize, or inspire.
It’s to define reality.
It’s to define reality.
John Maxwell famously said, “The first job of a leader is to define reality.” And he’s right. That can only happen when you’re willing to hear and face the truth — no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
It’s easy to hope things will improve, believe they will get better, or wish for a brighter future. We all want that. But when we build decisions, strategies, or culture on assumptions instead of truth, we don’t help our organizations or our people — we quietly hurt them.
Defining reality means pausing long enough to ask: What is actually happening here?
Not what we wish was happening. Not what we’re afraid is happening. But the unfiltered facts.
Not what we wish was happening. Not what we’re afraid is happening. But the unfiltered facts.
Without a clear grasp of reality, leaders drift into wishful thinking, denial, or reactive firefighting. That opens the door to inconsistency, misalignment, and eventually a slippery slope that can quietly erode even the strongest teams and organizations.This Applies to You, Too
Defining reality isn’t just something you do for your team or your business — it’s something you must do for yourself.
Take an honest look in the mirror. Where do you need to grow? What skills are missing? What habits are holding you back? Once you see the truth clearly, you can identify the specific steps required to move forward and then — most importantly — take action.A Powerful Lesson from Bonnie St. John
I saw this principle come to life in a unforgettable way in 2017 while serving on the John Maxwell Transformational Leadership Award committee. One of the honorees that year was Bonnie St. John — Paralympic medalist, author, and inspiring business leader.
Bonnie had her right leg amputated below the knee at just five years old. Despite the challenges, she fell in love with skiing and became a world-class amputee skier. At the Paralympics, she found herself in a defining slalom race against one other competitor.
Bonnie went first. She hit a tough turn, fell, but got back up and finished with a strong time. Then her competitor raced — she also fell in the same difficult spot, but got up faster and won the gold by a fraction of a second.
Later, Bonnie reflected on that moment with powerful clarity:
“People fall down. Winners get up. But gold medal winners just get up faster.”
“People fall down. Winners get up. But gold medal winners just get up faster.”
That became one of her defining realities. Even with her disability, she realized that getting up quicker than others would give her the edge. She carried that truth into every area of her life — and it propelled her to extraordinary success.
The same principle applies to all of us. Life knocks everyone down. Leaders who define reality clearly don’t waste time pretending the fall didn’t happen. They face it, learn from it, and get back up — faster.Apply It Today
Look at one specific challenge you’re facing right now — perhaps an employee whose behavior is falling short of expectations.
Instead of hoping it improves or avoiding the conversation, define the reality: What is the actual behavior? How is it impacting the team? What clear expectations need to be set?
By honestly confronting the truth and addressing it with courage and care, you build accountability, restore trust, and guide people (and your organization) toward real improvement.
Defining reality is Step One of the LEAD Framework for a reason. Everything else — learning, executing, and developing — builds on this foundation. Get this step wrong, and the rest becomes guesswork.
Ready to lead with clarity instead of assumptions?
Start today: Take a quiet moment and ask yourself — What is the unfiltered truth in this situation?What reality do you need to define right now — in your leadership, your team, or your own growth?
Start today: Take a quiet moment and ask yourself — What is the unfiltered truth in this situation?What reality do you need to define right now — in your leadership, your team, or your own growth?
90-DAY GUIDE: Lead Your Team Through Any Leadership Challenge
Did You Know?
Growing your leadership acumen is the fastest way to equip your team to lead through today's leadership challenges.
We've been equipping leaders like you for decades. We know you do not need another theory. You need a clear starting point and a simple system. This guide gives you both.
Includes a 90-day action plan.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
