Courage Emerges in Uncertainty

Cindy and I had latched onto the makings of a clear purpose as our careers progressed, separately in our full time roles and together in each side hustle we pursued. That purpose allowed us to keep pushing forward through each adversity, even when we didn’t have as much clarity around it as we probably should have. In the last several months of Cindy’s final full time role, though, finding purpose wasn’t the challenge. She was drawing tremendous fulfillment from all she did and that fueled the long hours she was putting in. The rub came from a values-disconnect. As difficult as it was for her to step away, then to hash out the role she would fill in our still relatively new business, remaining in a situation with so much direct conflict to the values she held most dear was no longer an option.

While our household income took an immediate hit, we looked for every opportunity we could find to build our collective business resume so we set ourselves apart from anyone else operating in a similar space and provide each client with measurable results immediately. Every single one of those opportunities to build our expertise required investment - at a time when we needed to be very cautious with each dime we spent.

Friends and business associates often comment on how courageous we were to take that leap, questioning whether we were afraid of failing. Courage isn’t the absence of fear - it’s action despite it, rooted in prior preparation. Each adversity we lived through to that point, all we had done to identify and nurture the seeds we found in those adversities, and every step we had taken to hone the leadership attributes Hill detailed in Think and Grow Rich served as the preparation that courage was rooted in. We had seen time and again that adversity’s seeds grow strongest when we choose courage over comfort and commit to doing more than required. This was just a culmination of the work we had done for years prior.

Cindy stepped away from that full time role in September 2016. We didn’t generate a ton of revenue in the twelve months that followed, but we sure did lay the foundation future revenue would be built on. She had been putting in at least 80 hours per week in that role, but that may have been light compared to all we were juggling through 2017. And through all that, I still held down a position as safety and human resources manager for the construction company with around 100 employees. As time progressed, though, I felt more and more tension between the compliance based tasks in my day job and the measurable impact we were beginning to help clients achieve through our business. We’ll dig into that tension and the definiteness of decision it led to next. Before we do, think about how you’ve applied unwavering courage in a shift you’ve made. How did your values drive your decision? What seed of greater purpose might still be hidden?

The Pull Toward Commitment

In opening this look at how stability can start feeling like a cage, I shared how I got involved in every aspect of that construction company I possibly could and how that helped me offset some of the monotonous drudge I felt from all the compliance related tasks in my primary role. Much of that involvement allowed me to connect with a fulfilling purpose, but there was one part that wore me out over time. It wasn’t that I had bitten off more than I could chew - at that point I was logging 50 or so hours each week in that role and nearly as much in our business; it was the growing tension of sitting in a room for big chunks of time each quarter with the guru facilitating the continuous improvement efforts gracing us with his presence and seeing nothing tangible to show for it.

I’ve never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed and I know there are plenty of times where I would get a ton of value from putting a bit more thought into things before springing directly into action. This was not that! After more than a year of those sessions, I was convinced that Jesus would come back before anything that fellow suggested in those meetings would result in a tangible return on investment. Me being me, I frequently asked for examples of how he had helped other clients implement some of the more general things he had clearly read in a book on flight into town. His responses helped the stereotypical polyester suited car salesman in him shine through. Whatever, I wasn’t the one paying his bill so I tolerated it for the most part. I do recall one particular session where I challenged him to identify the ROI he had seen us achieve as a result of something he brought to the table. He didn’t. But he responded sharply by saying “If you can’t identify a 10x ROI from what we’ve done, you should renew my contract next year.” I had struck a nerve, and I heard myself say, “I wouldn’t let you back in the building tomorrow,” and the room fell silent - except for one stoic long-term team member who folded his arms, leaned back in his chair, and simply said, “Yep.”

I stopped sitting in on those meetings, but that was a clear sign of just how much my tension was growing; not because I didn’t like my job or anyone I worked with, but because I felt stagnant. I remained engaged with everything else I had jumped into. In complete transparency, I don’t think anyone noticed that I stopped sitting in on the quarterly continuous improvement meetings - or maybe it just made them go more smoothly? Either way, they didn’t need me to help not take action. They were doing a fine job of talking about what could be on their own.

From the time I accepted the HR/Safety Manager position, I had been involved in all the hiring. One of the tools I used in manufacturing was a behavior-based interviewing structure; I had even completed a certification with the company that licensed it. I had shared the concept with the owners and my peers on the management team at least a few times but never got much reaction. I remember where I sat when I read the email from the owner (who was my direct boss) telling me that I should talk with the continuous improvement consultant and learn more about the behavior-based hiring approach he thought we should implement. I had little respect remaining for that greasy used car salesman when he stayed in his own lane, and that left when he felt compelled to stick his nose into mine.

I had practiced the habit of doing more than I was paid for every day for nearly two years at that point. I’m not bragging about that; it’s what I promised the owner I would do when I accepted the position. And I never had a single complaint about the salary, albeit well below market rate for all I was juggling; I agreed to that as well. Being brushed off, intentional or not, when I shared the behavior-based interviewing concept was one thing. Having it completely ignored when I shared it, then being told to learn about it from some schmuck who struggled to hit his ass with either hand on anything else he ever talked about was more than I could stomach.

That led to yet another definite decision, one that would lead to more uncertainty than we had ever experienced. Uncertainty tests definiteness of decision; doing more than required in the present builds confidence for the leap. We’ll work through that next. Before we do, think about a current pattern where your focus may be pulling you in different directions. What’s one step you need to take toward better alignment, and how will you base that step on your core values?

The Decision to Leap

I had accumulated four weeks of paid time off at the fifteen year mark in my manufacturing career, and I was on track to earn a fifth week when I hit twenty. I shared earlier how I had barely used 40 hours of that through the first eight months of 2014, and nearly all of that was in half day increments. The position I accepted when I left manufacturing came with 120 hours of PTO, but the HR/Safety Manager position in the construction company only offered 80 hours. I accepted that, but with the understanding that I could take more time off unpaid if needed for various things in my own (new) business. Even then, my commitment to go above and beyond the call of duty meant I would deliver results regardless of the time off - and I did. 

I did use all 80 hours, but much of that was dedicated to attending training and certification events that would help us provide more value in our business. As a quick side note, we did manage to squeeze in some leisure; I can’t have you thinking I work Cindy all day, every day.

I share that detail because we were in the middle of a ten day trip to Florida when I read the email directing me to “learn more about the behavior-based hiring approach” from the used car salesman/consultant. Had I been in my office, or even in Virginia, when I read that, my response would have likely been a bit more hasty - and far more direct. Realizing there was little value in initiating a full-on pissing contest through email, especially when I wouldn’t have the chance to address it face-to-face for several more days, I sent a simple reply saying, “We can discuss this when I’m back on Monday.” However, that was THE moment I decided to resign from that role and enter the world of the self employed.

The next few days were absolutely packed. We were not only attending a Maxwell Leadership event for continuing education, I had also volunteered to help with run-of-show details. That was a tall order in and of itself since sessions started before 8a and ran until late in the evening. We were there to learn, so we sat in on everything we had access to. My volunteer responsibilities started after the final session ended each day, often wrapping up around midnight. I was completely engaged, but I was also actively processing the conversation I’d be having when I got back to my office the following week and all that would follow.

When I returned, I pulled the owner of the company aside first thing. I was respectful, but I was also firm. I laid out the ongoing concerns I had about him being taken advantage of by the consultant and explained that the suggestion to “learn” something from him that I had been attempting to help them do for nearly two years was an eye-opener. I remember saying something like, “If he’s worth half of what you’re paying him, I need to dedicate all my time to my business because I’m going to be freaking rich!” I closed by sharing that I would be happy to work the following two months to help identify and train my replacement. A two-week notice is customary, but that is nowhere close to enough time to fill even a basic position - and certainly not that position.

I knew going into that conversation that there was a distinct possibility that my resignation could have been accepted immediately so I was just as prepared to call Cindy for a ride home as I was to work out the extended notice I offered. Definiteness of decision requires assuming full responsibility for outcomes; these leaps clarify values. Although we didn’t have them posted on our own website at the time, the values we work to model today played a key role in that decision. Not because that company had done anything wrong, but because our desire has long been to make an intentional and measurable difference for the people we work with through action (the first four of our six values, in case you’re wondering). Meeting quarterly to talk about continuous improvement over and over wasn’t aligning with any of those, and it was eating me up inside.